misleading town guides

[joggerjayne]

I've been looking through one of those free "guides to the city's attractions" that you pick up from newsagents. Here are some total "LOL" descriptions ...

Description: "The Brighton Centre continues to strengthen its reputation for headlining live music ..."

Reality: The Brighton Centre's only reputation is for being the biggest blot on the entire south coast. It must have been designed by a blind architect.

Description: "Check out Brighton Marina - one of Europe's leading City lifestyle destinations."

Reality: The Marina is utterly, utterly ghastly. Do not go there, unless you have a penchant for bland food, Wetherspoons pubs, discount outlet shops ... and Asda.

Description: "For year round entertainment there's no better place than Brighton Pier."

Reality: Sorry, there is entertainment on the Pier?? Well yes, if you are "entertained" by Lithuanian fish and chip stands, overpriced crap coffee, snogging teenagers and day trippers in daft hats eating candy floss.

Description: "The Royal Pavilion has been restored to its original 1823 splendour ..."

Reality: The Pavilion seems particularly attractive to drunk holidaymakers who use the gardens for puking and/or shagging.



Do you have "attractions" that are not all they are cracked up to be?

I want to write a book called ...

"Ignore the tourist traps ... here are the GOOD bits!"

[rinkins]

Ha ha ha that did make me lol JJ

Do they have tinned tomatoes in Brighton?

[joggerjayne]

I don't know.

I buy mine from Costco ... and I daren't even tell you where that is !

[jno]

do so; guidebooks sell well and the sort that proclaim to be 'Brighton as the locals know it' do particularly well. Or set up a Brighton version of this

http://www.hovepeople.co.uk/home

(warning: Daily Mail ownership)

[Bbbananas]

But the marina shower blocks for the sailors are pretty good JJ. I often judge a marina on their showers and loo facilities - believe you me, I have been in some grotty ones - Alderney being the worst. Brighton's were clean, at least (but that's cos only the hoi polloi sailors can access them - they're inaccessible to the plebs and general public.....)

[joggerjayne]

You're right, Sals ... the Marina is very clean. (is "sterile" the word I'm looking for?)

jno ... the first link on that site was for buying a beach hut ... Okaaaay !

Hove, Actually is one of the Daily Mail's safe heartlands.

[jno]

okay, so the marina showers are the place to pick up clean sailors. Any other helpful hints?

[jno]

jj, Associated Newspapers runs a whole network of those local sites

http://www.localpeople.co.uk/home

a friend of mine is publisher of a few of them down your way. (Not Hove, I don't think.)

[Bbbananas]

It helps if the ladies go into the mens (accidentally , of course)
and vice versa.
Look nonchalant, but stay.

[joggerjayne]

I have to confess ... I do sometimes go to the Rendezvous ... the Marina's casino.

But I can walk home from the Grosvenor in the town.

Ooh, another source of irritation ...

The Grosvenor Casino ... one of the most wonderfully sexy art deco buildings in Britain ... utterly gorgeous ... and they have re-branded it the "G Casino" and installed a turnstile, and given us "Play For Points" cards to swipe as we go in.

I don't remember any Bond girls ever having to swipe a Play For Points card on the way into a casino ... Grrrrr !!

[B00]

This is a tourist guide thingy for where I live. Notice how short the paragraphs are? That's because the whole area is a craphole. I imagine the writer spend hours and hours tryin to pad it out a bit, but gave up eventually and gave us this....

http://www.rossendale...ryID=6&documentID=353

[joggerjayne]

LOL B00 ...

"the whole area is a craphole"

Is that a quote from the tourist guide ??

[B00]

Well it might have fleshed it out a bit if he or she did!

[joggerjayne]

OMG B00 ... a "Temperance Bar" ??

So you go there and drink orange squash, or something ?

[B00]

Actually, i do love their Sarsaperella (sp)

[B00]

Actually, im loving the Bacup discriptions....highlight of your trip there apparently will be brass rubbings!!!!

[ummmm]

BOO....that's worse than Northamptons...

This is as much as I could find...

http://www.explorenor...uk/exec/144603/12544/

[joggerjayne]

Brass rubbing ... a "special souvenir" ...Okaaay.

=0/

[joggerjayne]

Thanks, guys.

I'm loving Brighton more and more with every link you guys post ... LOL

x

[joggerjayne]

I gotta go out for a bit.

Be good ... x x x

J

[B00]

You've got a snazzy website for it at least ummmm, with multiple pages!!! And Jayne's Brighton at least has a beach and the sea, all we've got is a crappy one page which all our towns fit onto, mean little towns and hills....oh and sheep.