Perfectionist

[jcherbstritt]

My friend is a bit of a perfectionist, and suffers torment and self-doubt when she makes a mistake.  She is asking for advice on how best to deal with her damned perfectionism.  Any ideas?

[woofgang]

if she really really wants to deal with it then www.flylady.net could help.

BUT you know the joke about how many psychologists it takes to change a lightbulb...your friend has to WANT to change

[Kay]

If your friend suffers torment she could have OCD "Obsessive Compulsive Disorder". Hundreds of people suffer with it, her Gp could refer her for counselling.

[jcherbstritt]

Thanks for your help but my friend definately does not suffer from OCD.  I was exaggerating the 'torment and self doubt' thing for comic affect.  It's not so serious - surely some of you must curse yourself after you've done something stupid - how do you deal with it?  Certainly I can sympathise with it.  I am looking for pearls of wisdom rather than diagonosis.  It's not that I don't appreciate your concern for my friend, but I work with her, and the problem is really not so serious!

[Octavius]

She is quite likely a Virgo (and a perfectionist) just like me!  Perhaps give her a few pearls of wisdom...

 

"For even the pursuit of perfection may be sin, if it infringes the rights and needs of another soul. Better to fail a little, by turning aside to lift up another, than to pass by him in haste to reach our own reward, and leave him to solitude and despair. Better to labour in lameness, in fallibility, but holding up others who falter, than to stride forward alone."

 

or alternatively...

 

"We all did what we thought was best at the time. Looking at things now, we could have done differently, but that was the best we could do then."