A New Element....

[BlueToffee]

Scientists have announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science..

The new element is Governmentium (Gv). It has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lefton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons or protons, it is inert. However, it
can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction normally taking less
than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years. It does not decay but
instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This
hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many
peons but twice as many morons. All of the money is consumed in the
exchange, and no other by-products are produced.

[tonyav]

LOL, excellent BT.

[BlueToffee]

Thanks Tonyav, perhaps I should have posted in jokes!

[tonyav]

Maybe, BT.
you could repost it in joked though.

[Butterbun]

Mind boggling! lol

[Brinjal]

Funny

[New Judge]

I didn't think it was a joke. It describes interfering profligate busy-bodies perfectly.

[jim360]

Have you allowed for Spin?

[solvitquick]

Dear Blue Toffee,
I read about Governmentium like you in the in the same journal, the New Signhereist. You seem to have missed a neighbouring article about Bankonium.
Bankonium is a catalytis molecule. It typically reacts with any paper which is held together, not by electrons but by a cloud of morons. This particular type of paper is very valuable and has a name akin to that found in physics, the Higgs boson. However unlike the so-called "god particle", the paper which is rich in a moron cloud is termed "Quidd's polymer" after Arthur C Quidd's discovery. In the bankonium catalysed reaction, the paper is converted into to a form of carbon akin to what we call "soot" and this is worthless unlike gold.
The rest of the reaction involves the transfer of energy and power to the central nucleus. So while each moron loses its property the nucleus benefits thermodynamically and hence is termed "Quidd's Inn".
Also a new black hole has been formed. This has been named the "Energeebill" after Bill Gee. It is dangerous, sucking in anything it can which then disappears from the universe forever except for a very little release of energy. This explains the "energ" prefix to Bill Gee's discovery.
Both the above entities are energy-lacking and inert in respect of your Governmentium!
Kind regards from,
SIQ.
P.S. We may just live near other perhaps at Goodison Park but that's just a hypothesis.

[Matheous-2]

I feel these particles have already been discovered in Scotland- mingled with 'tartons' moving faster than light in a 'white paper loop'....

Well done Blue Toffee!