Dear God, I Have A Few Questions I'd Like Answered:

[RATTER15]

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? (I'm pretty sure she's a virgin).

3. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

5. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Aren't there 'degrees' of abomination?

6. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Sincerely,
Yours Truly

[royfromaus]

Thou shalt not steal

[lady-janine]

My Son. give me time to intercede for you.

[Tilly2]

I'm sure someone will be along soon to answer your questions. Maybe they will provide a link. :-)

[RATTER15]

A link? copy and paste more likely :-)

[mikey4444]

I have a solution for you ratter......stop reading this drivel !

[RATTER15]

mikey, may you be struck down by a bolt of lightening!!!

[Tilly2]

That skin of a dead pig worries me. I nicked some crackling off the roast pork on Sunday. I touched it with my hands. Ooer!

[RATTER15]

Tilly2, was nice knowing you!

[EDDIE51]

Isn't there a bit in the Old Testament where it recommends that a daughter should seduce her Father in order to get pregnant and so carry on the 'family line'?

[RATTER15]

Eddie.

//He got drunk and impregnated his virgin daughters.

Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father. Genesis 19:32-36//

[pixie373]

Yuck. Glad it's not real!

[RATTER15]

But I wouldnt take to much notice because:


//None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness. Leviticus 18:6
And, at least in some cases, is punishable by death.

And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:11
And if a man lie with his daughter in law, both of them shall surely be put to death: they have wrought confusion; their blood shall be upon them. Leviticus 20:12

And if a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they; that there be no wickedness among you. -- Leviticus 20:14//

[RATTER15]

This stuff was written by some very strange people indeed!!

[Tilly2]

And his wife was just a bag of salt.

[humbersloop]

^ it was a pillar tills,thy didn't run to commercial wrappers in those days..

[Tilly2]

Just shows I don't know my bible, sloopy.

[Old_Geezer]

Thou shalt not take as gospel that written who claim to know me, but to apply a little common sense. And also be aware that times change. You are not the people you once were. Nor the same as you will become if you take care of yourselves.

[RATTER15]

Scrivens, we could have a "smiting" after the BBQ?

[RATTER15]

Old_Geezer, Why do you think we are here laughing about it all, common sense tells us it is all a Fairy Story that got carried away!