Live Until Eternity....

[BANANASPLITS]

A man tells his Rabbi, "I have a strong desire to live until eternity. What should I do?"

"Get married" said the Rabbi.

"It's that simple? Would that allow me to live forever?" He said.

The Rabbi replied, "No but the desire will disappear."

[retrocop]

Son comes home after auditioning for the school play.
Jewish mom asks:
-What role do you have?
-I get to play the Jewish husband.
-Immediately go back to school and ask for a role with words!

[Patsy33]

Lol...

[retrocop]

Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised?
A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it's 20% off

[BANANASPLITS]

And the Jewish bloke said to the doctor after a good job done "keep the tip thanks"

[retrocop]

Creation
On the sixth day God turned to the angel Gabriel and said, "Today I am going to create a land called Israel. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty. It will have rolling hills and mountains full of goats and eagles, a beautiful, sparkling, clear ocean full of sea life and high cliffs overlooking white sandy beaches."
God continued, "And I shall make the land rich in oil to allow the inhabitants to prosper. I shall call these inhabitants "Jews" and they shall be known as the most friendly people on the earth."
"But," asked Gabriel, "Don't you think you're being too generous to these Jews?"
"Not really," replied God, "just wait and see the neighbours I am going to give them."