Crazy; you seem to consider that a problem when it need be nothing more than a tribute to the vastness of your potential?
Life is a process of self-sustaining, self-generated action. For most life forms this is an automatic process which began with an intial basic surviving self-replicating organism and has evolved into a entity that has forfitted automatic function in exchange for the choices which proceed from reason. Our potential to understand what life is and arrive at its definition is what gives life and the universe from which it arose meaning. Learning to appreciate this ability and by virtue of practicing and improving it your life becomes meaningful and thereby presents to you the value you have thereby given to it through your efforts.
The potential to reason, humankinds defining attribute, presents us with one fundamental choice which is key to all other choices. To accept that it is an integral part of your nature, evaluate it as a blessing and take advantage of what it has to offer or attempt to run away from and hide from it as if it were a curse, in which case that is what it will become and what you will be to the self you have denied. The choice is yours!