Friends Or Family

[homestead]

A very dear friend of mine is in a quandary.
Her children moved years ago several miles away, & she has been widowed for almost 20 years.
During this time she retired from part time work & together with many friends she's known for decades had a full & contented life walking, dancing & socialising.
However her eldest wanted her to move close to her & the thought of seeing all her family more often she decided to move.
The whole idea of leaving her friends caused stress & when it came to actual date she had visited A & E twice with heart/lung problems.
The delay in taking over her new home added to her stress level.
She recently had another spell in hospital & she says she has spent too many hours visiting doctors or hospital thus making her very low, which is just not her.
She's not been at all settled & after last stay in hospital she was deciding to move back to where she calls home. She has good neighbours but can't bring herself to open up to them.
Should she go? How does she tell her children? I'm happy to stand by her as are all her friends if she does return.
It means a massive upheaval but I think she can cope. As an old friend all I want is her happiness in her late life in her 70's.

[kvalidir]

Do you mind me asking how many miles we are talking about please between A & B?

[ummmm]

She should do what makes her happy. My mum is in her sixties and moved away years back. She's loving life. We are all in contact via phone and facebook. I'm happy she's happy. Plus we get to go on holiday when we want :-)

[jakep]

Oh dear. This happened to a friend of mine. She moved, with her husband, about 100 miles to be near their daughter and adult grandchildren. Her husband died with six weeks of the move and her family were mainly occupied with work and their social lives. She came home and rejoined all her groups, but it will be a long time until she recovers from the whole episode, if ever.
Your friend will just have to be honest with her children. Hopefully they will understand and wish her well.

[homestead]

To trash Panda
Its about 250, she does'nt drive now but uses trains. both chidren are out at work all day.

[kvalidir]

Thanks you. Then I think she needs to do what will make her happy and if that's return to her friends then hopefully her children will understand x

[AuntLydia]

Perhaps her children want her to move nearer for their convenience not hers. I would advise your friend to move back nearer her friends, where she can have a better quality of life in the time she has left. Taken 250 miles away from friends will result in her being isolated for more hours than she can spend with her busy family.

[jennyjoan]

I am surprised her family disrupted her so much. 250 miles is very far away - if it is easy enough to go back "home". Then so be it.

[jennyjoan]

I know a lady who sold her house in England and her daughter hubby and children sold theirs - put the monies together and emigrated to Australia only about 2 years ago. Lady in question was 69.

Daughter gave her granny-flat attached to the house but lady was told to enter the main house - 1-6pm. After that back to her flat.

Nothing like your own home.

[homestead]

Thanks for all your input regards my best friend.