So sorry to hear this sad news lilcaben, Amber knew you loved her, you gave her all those year of love and care, of course she knew, shame you couldn't be there, but she did go in her sleep, which tells you that she was peaceful and settled, so just try to remember the lovely times you had together, it will get easier to cope with, I lost my little friend 10 months ago, very hard to cope with, he was 14, and my best mate!........Missed him so much, couldn't talk about it for months without tears, but now I can remember him with affection and joy because we had the best times together!...................Take Care!....................