Advise Needed, Please.

[muchlovex]

My cousin, who lives in Spain, is due to get married later this year. They invited me and my partner however, due to unforeseen circumstances we cannot attend. We do intend to send a wedding present to them.

When I told my told my aunt that I could not attend they were disappointed and wanted to know reasons why we can't come.

The thing that is bothering me is, is that my cousin's fiance has now taken me off this friends list on Facebook. I feel that this is really childish behaviour and have felt like emailing him to ask why, but I do not want to cause problems in the family, so I was going to leave it be.

Today, I have found out he has friend requested my partner.

Shall I email him and air my views fairly, or shall I not say anything to keep the peace? After all, I don't want to fall out with anyone.

[grasscarp]

As I am not on facebook, I dont know how much it means to someone to have a "friends list". Your cousin is a relative rather than a friend, and their fiance will soon be a relative as well, so why worry if you are on their friends list or not? I know who my friends are without having a list!

[joko]

removing someone from your friends is a snub really...it is childish but its some peoples way of making a point when they are peeved at you

bear in mind if he has added your fiance, could it be a technical hitch ? check again in afew days...because ive thoguht that about people and discovered i am there but for some reason couldnt be seen ...strange but it happens

[grasscarp]

I just find it strange that people worry about such things. I am very pleased not to be part of something that makes adults behave as if they were still in the playground.

[lylabellablueyes]

You shouldnt have to explain yourself reply, but to set the record straight, maybe send a nice email explaining why you can't go etc.

[lylabellablueyes]

That should have said 'really', not 'reply'

[ummmm]

I would ignore it...

[I.Don No]

personally I would err on the side of caution and keep your thoughts to yourself.

[joko]

grasscarp...your lack of understanding is irrelevant and doesnt help the situation one bit...

people use facebook, whether you like it or not...

[grasscarp]

oh dear Joko. I am sorry if you feel my comments are irrelevant. I was giving another perspective. There is a life outside facebook, and I think it is sad that people give so much weight to it. There have even been murders due to someone giving their status as "no longer in a relationship"! Also people have had their homes broken in to because they have advertised the fact they are going on holiday. There is also a certain lack of security of the whole site which has led to people leaving it. Surely a list on a website should not the criteria as to whether or not someone is your friend or not? Even you in your post describe actions on facebook as "childish". Muchlovex will no doubt welcome all comments.

[whitbybabe]

Well said grasscarp. I call it ' Divorce Book ' .