How To Wind Up Nhs Staff- Part 4

[mrs_overall]

When I was recently admitted to hospital there wasn't a bed available on the ward I normally end up on, so I spent the first night on a random ward. The next day, as visiting time was due to start, I was informed a bed had become available on my regular ward. When Mr O arrived he carried my bag for me to the other ward. I dumped my bag, said a quick hello to the staff then announced Mr O and I were heading off to the coffee shop.
The nurse in charge said "Can the student nurse take your obs before you go."
I returned to my room, followed by the student nurse who realised she didn't have my folder and returned to the desk. In the time she took to bring my folder back, I had already taken my own temperature, blood pressure & pulse. She laughed and said "I can tell you are an old pro."
Luckily, all the nurses on duty were congregated around the desk (maximum audience impact) when I flung my arm forward dramatically, pointed at the student nurse and said loudly "She has just called me a prostitute."
The poor girl went bright red and said, "I didn't say that, I said you are an old pro."
Playing to the crowd, who were all struggling to keep straight faces, I said "Hah! So not only is she calling me a prostitute, she is calling me an old prostitute."
I don't know what the student nurse said next as she was stuttering so badly. My sidekick (Mr O) patted her on the arm in a kindly manner and said "Don't get upset love, how do you think I met her?"
I know, I know...I really shouldn't do this but student nurses/doctors always seem like fair game to me. Anyway, it toughens them up for the real world.

[shoota]

Come to think of it, I think I've met you before.....

[EcclesCake]

Do you not think the red and black Nylon negligee were what gave the game away?

[aelmpvw]

if the rest of the hospital staff had any compassion they would have warned her

[Baldric]

Nice one Mrs O, keep it up!

[Hopkirk]

I hope you took your loyalty card in with you.

You must have clocked up enough points for a free weekend soon.

[mrs_overall]

ael, the regular staff also see students as fair game

[Psybbo]

Where is the red light area in Whitby? xx

[mrs_overall]

shoota, was it YOU at Grimsby Docks in 1987?

[shoota]

Whitby Psybbo, is the red light district of Yorkshire....

[shoota]

I was thinking more Port au Prince 1787

[mrs_overall]

psybbs, there is no red light district in Whitby. There is no need for one as there are enough young ladies in the town who give it away for free on a weekend

[shoota]

When you was but a lass....

[mrs_overall]

Blimey shoota, you are older than I thought

[ChillDoubt]

I know, I know...I really shouldn't do this but student nurses/doctors always seem like fair game to me. Anyway, it toughens them up for the real world.
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Sadly, in the modern era all it needs is a Bed Manager to be within earshot of such an incicdent and before you know it someone is suspended pending an enquiry as it'll be more than someone's job is worth not to pursue it.

[tamborine]

No mrs, why knock a youngster just embalking a career. Youve probably lost NHS a much needed nurse - not your best tale ;(

[aelmpvw]

i reckon all this whitby malarkey started with that dracula fella ...

[boxtops]

Unfortunately, chill, you are likely to be right - reflection of the times. Every complaint has to be noted and investigated...... what starts out as a joke might well go on the student's record. Sad but true. One of the nurses on that ward wil have been that student's mentor/supervisor - it's probably had to be logged that she inadvertently offended a patient.

[gness]

Imagine what she's like when she's not ill....

Come on you two....you have no idea how it ended....and when you have been a regular as often as MrsO....and indeed me for eleven years.....you know what you're doing.....and the staff do too...

For goodness sake....when did the NHS staff lose any sense of humour.

[mrs_overall]

Chill, do you honestly think I would have done this if there was a bed manager/doctor etc within a 5 mile radius? Get real.

Tambo, the student nurse saw the funny side of it when it was explained to her that "old pro" has two meanings. She, like the majority of the population, had a sense of humour.

[boxtops]

..when we became tied down by red tape and Equality and Diversity training, gness. That student nurse must be mortified.