John Arrives Home.....

[gness]

...Janet has taken a detour to Cambs to decorate two bras for The Moonwalk......

Their journey would have been uneventful had Ryanair not changed their cabin baggage rule mid trip......all the adverts and posters declaring.....Two Cabin Bags and a Duty Free Bag!!! are fibs........now you have to put your duty free into one of your two bags......
This proved difficult as Janet had had a spending spree on....despite not smoking...menthol ciggies and Beirao......but.....by removing enough clothing and donning it even though she was on the verge of fainting....the zips on her little grey cabin bag held.....just......the ciggies and Beiro were coming with her.....

Security would have gone smoothly had Janet not accidentally claimed John's little grey bag... not realising it had set alarm bells ringing.....
Janet and the bag were taken aside...the bag was opened to reveal some huge shoes and large underpants......with a posing pouch????????

See Janet cringe.....
See the security officer raise an eyebrow....

There was an unallowed and dangerous item in the little grey case....could Janet explain it?

Not a cat in hells chance......

The bag is emptied and searched by two officers now.....large tee shirts...very large.....enormously large trousers.....and you could have hidden a small child in each sock.....

See the little Janet attempt to look innocent......trying to come up with a reason she'd be wearing the clothes of a very large man......

Then the bag with the toiletries....razors.....men's stuff....and..........

A bloody great corkscrew with all sorts of attachments!!!!! The offending item.....

This, apparently, is John's favourite corkscrew with added bits that he mislaid some months ago......it has been on holiday with him god knows how many times and gone through security with no problem til.......Janet claims ownership of his *** bag.......

Janet considers fainting just to change the subject.....

John arrives to claim his....Waiter's Friend...as he calls.....

Janet is glad John has one friend and leaves him to explain....because she is off to the bar for a pint of Guinness....when security let her go......

John can fly wherever he likes in future.....Janet is taking the train...... :-)

[tonyav]

Does John's Waiters Friend have one of those things for removing stones from a horses hoof ?.

[gness]

I don't know, Tony...probably, knowing John...but I really don't care!!!.........x

[anneasquith]

Suspect john is lying in a darkened room with a wet compress on his brow.

[gness]

Or maybe wondering how he's going to wear the undies in the case he had to claim, Anne..... ;-)

[anneasquith]

He'll manage.. :-)

[gness]

He probably has a shoe horn, Anne. X

[aelmpvw]

reading the list of items in john's bag, abers could be forgiven for thinking janet had been on holiday with ael ...

[gness]

They could well be right, Ael.......let's say nothing....especially to Doris...... ;-)

[aelmpvw]

holidaying with ael and doris would be a win win situation for you gness, you'd have a dashingly handsome escort and all your outfits would be freshly pressed

[trt]

Am I missing something, Who are Janet & John?

[gness]

Not missing much, Trt...before anyone else says it..... :-)

Gness has been a member of a birding group for years....Dave joined us and came on some of our birding holidays......thinking there was safety in numbers....all went well..................ish......
This year the group has got smaller.......ill health.....new grandchildren to be doted on.........which meant the planned trip to Palma was now down to two......Dave and Gness......

Dave decided to risk it.......and everything that could go wrong did....

So....to pass the time....I told of his plight ......using Janet and John as the characters on here to tell our sad tale......

Four birders joined us for part of this trip.........I swear Dave paid them to....... ;-)


Ael.....just give me the dates.....I'll be happy to join you and Doris.....xxx