//A top BBC star has also been accused of inappropriate behaviour by his co-stars. The unnamed Dalek, a leading figure in the Cyborg community, originally denied allegations that he had ever been hell-bent on the ultimate conquest of the known universe, or that he had used offensive language.
But in response to further allegations, he issued this apology:
‘To have been born with wheels instead of legs, and with only a sucker for one arm and a lethal ray-gun for the other, has been a burden I have had to live with.
'And I continue to find stairs difficult. My voice, too, has upset people, but it is the only one I have.
‘Nevertheless, I have tried to overcome these disabilities and to live responsibly. Many of my friends tell me that I am a highly sensitive individual. It was therefore deeply disturbing for me to be faced with a secret recording of myself saying, “Exterminate! Exterminate!”
‘This was locker-room banter, a private conversation that took place many years ago. I apologise if anyone was offended. OK, so I said it. I was wrong. I apologise. I pledge to be a better man. Now that’s enough!’
Some of his victims argued that the Dalek’s apology did not go far enough. He replied: ‘I said I apologise, so it’s about time you all stopped whining! Exterminate! Exterminate!’//
//Apologies for past behaviour have also emerged from leading members of the extra-terrestrial community.
‘Behaviour that may have been considered perfectly normal ten or 15 years ago is now, rightly, abhorred,’ said top movie star Alien, who is currently undergoing therapy.
‘I now realise that it is wholly unacceptable to make a habit of bursting from other people’s chests without warning,’
And Jaws has also issued an fulsome apology, after 40-year-old film emerged of the leading Beverly Hills-based shark attacking holidaymakers on Amity Island. ‘I caused a lot of pain,’ he said.
Following a period in rehab —‘where I resolve to become the kind of shark my children can be proud of’ — Jaws is hoping to re-launch his movie career. Associates say he plans to move into the field of musical comedy, as he has always been proud of his winning smile.//
Haha.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-5079517/CRAIG-BROWN-Apologies-fictional-characters-behaviour.html