Inspiration for me!!

[loobie]

Please give me some inspiration to help me get through the next hour and a half. I am going through hell with boredom and the fact that it is so beautiful outside isn't helping matters. Come on guys, give me some happiness!!!

[Ward-Minter]

How about a joke???

A blind man enters a Ladies' Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very angry voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things: One - The bartender is a blonde girl. Two - The bouncer is a blonde girl. Three - I'm a six-foot, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. Four - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter. Five - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler. Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[loobie]

Thanks Ward, that made me smile (lucky i'm not blonde!!!!)

[caz21]

Ditto Loobie! Went for a picnic on my lunch break and really did not want to come back! i guess just look around on AB? thats what i plan to do!

As for the joke theme Ward-Minter

A Bear, A Lion and a Chicken meet in a forest

Bear says: " If I roar in the forest, the entire forest is shivering"
Lion says: " If i roar in the desert the entire desert is afraid"
Chicken says: "big deal, i only have to cough and the whole world s**** its self!"

;o) sorry guys!

[mccfluff]

an email doing the rounds at the mo i like the last one and not long to go now loobie

subject: American Church bulletins

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins

This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.


Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a
conflict.


At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of
several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased
person you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and
gracious hostility.

Potluck supper, Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may
be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the
back door.


Weight Watchers will meet at 7 pm at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use the large double door at the side entrance.

[Homer55]

I went to a seafood disco last night,

I Pulled a mussell.

That must have cheered you up. i think a dose of beer garden is in order tonight to catch the last of the suns rays

[loobie]

Thanks for making me smile guys, its hometime now!! have a good night y'all xx