What have I done? (quite a long one) please help!

[CHANONE]

I posted a q on here the other day about buying my new partner a present - I dont think that is the case anymore.

It is kind of complicated but I met him at a Christening of a mutual friend, he was apparently there with his current/ex girlfriend(?). I did notice that they were friendly, anyway long story short, we hooked up a few weeks later.

PART 1: A good friend of mine who is almost like a brother to me told me that he is still apprantly with this same girl and that they are engaged to be married!! I confronted him with a congratulations toast at a restrauant and he seemed very surprised. My source did call me back that evening and told me the 'engagement' was incorrect but they are together. Anyway he told me that he is no longer with her.

PART 2: A week later I get another phonecall from the source's sister who tells me that my guy is apparantly living with his current/ex(?) girlfriend not too far away from me.

PART 3: On Saturday, I received a call from the source and he told me that this guy and ex are meant to be going on holiday this year.

Anyway, got really drunk, and texted him and told him that we cant be together anymore coz I keep hearing things about him. My grannie (confidant) did tell me not to listen to hear say but it is difficult not to.

He told me that he likes me and he does not have anybody else and I should follow my instincts if I believe that what I am hearing is right. I called him yesterday evening and asked him to come round, he never called and never came. I texted him in the night and apologised for accusing him but no response.

The source is getting his info from his dad, who is married to this lady who has a sister, who has a daughter who is meant to be his girlfriend. Basiscally, she is the sources cousin by marriage.

Is this information crediable? what would you do?

[laurence2]

confront him.

I agree that getting information via a ''source'' can lead to the wrong information about him.

i'm just uncomfortable with the ''i should follow my instincts if i believe that what i am hearing is right'' statement from him, the ignoring of you calling/texting him is not making matters any easier for you also.

It sounds dodgy to me.

[CHANONE]

laurence2

Those weren't his exact words. I texted and said that 'my instincts are telling me that it aint right' and his response in a sort of patronising way was 'well, follow your instincts'.

[laurence2]

You really do need to confront him.

No smoke without fire is flashing in front of your eyes, when you hear only one rumour about someone, you think is it true yes/no. but one after the other about him really is a concern, unless the ''source'' has it in for him/you

[Psychick]

Whatever you have heard or feel, you do need to sit down and talk this all through with him. You've been told he lives with this girl? Have you ever asked him if you can go to his and he's refused? Has he ever offered to take you to his but for some reason youve not gone? Has mentioned going on holiday this year with mates? Have a think back and see if you can fit any pieces together yourself first.
Just make sure you do talk to him, face to face. listen to him, express your feelings and concerns, then take it from there.

[CHANONE]

I have been to his place a few times and he has mentioned going on holiday. He did ask me to go with him but I believe he goes on holiday regularly anyway. When I asked him over the phone about going on holiday with her he sarcastically said, 'I will ring you form the airport'.

In fact, he just called me and when I picked up I heard him say, 'aahh' as if too say that he wasn't meant to call me. I called him back but he hasn't answered. I think he is trying to make me stew....;(

[tiny e.a]

Sounds like he's being a prick to me

[Psychick]

Hmmm, sounds to me he is not impressed with being confronted about this. Which can mean one of two things. You have either caught him out and what you have heard is true or, he has told you the truth but just doesnt like not having been trusted in the first place.
From what you have said, I starting to wonder if your sources have been correct after all.

[cazzz1975]

lol @tiny ea!, I agree though...

[nutgoneflake]

I have found in the past that any kind of sarcastic remarks suggest that any feelings he may have for you are not going to be anything worth your heartache. If someone has it in them to be sarcastic towards someone else who is obviously upset, with or without reason btw, then that person is not worth the bother. To some people, sarcasm seems to be funny, but in my book it's actually quite cruel. If there WAS a potential relationship here, and he had feelings for you, he wouldn't make these remarks. It could be the thin end of a wedge - I couldn't see love growing out of a tendency to be cruel.

Leave well alone!!

[johnlambert]

either go on jeremy kyle and get him to do a lie detector test on him,
or
stop lisening to your friend of a friend who got a phone call from a man wearing a green hat standing at a bus stop who heard his friend's 2nd cousin twice removed talking to her work mate who got a text message from a complete stranger saying that she saw him in a pub with a lady who looks like his current/ex(?).

[fine,thanks]

is like a barbara cartland novel, sorry but too long for my wee brain : )

[Psychick]

did you type all that in one breath johnlambert? lol

[CHANONE]

Thank you for all your comments. I have decided that I will not call him again but if I here from him I will speak to him.

nutgoneflake what does btw mean?

[Rubyrose]

Just ask him outright........ tell him you want honesty. Ask if he has plans for a holiday this year and tell him you want to go round his house for dinner. Make it snappy though incase he borrows a mates house for the setting of said dinner!

[CHANONE]

Rubyrose

Sounds like a good idea....I should put his culnary skills to the test considering he always wants to take me to restaurants and feed me...

[nutgoneflake]

Btw = by the way, by the way!!

Sorry Chanone!