BBQ Rules

[Lakitu]

We are about to enter the BBQ season, therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette
of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the
vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory two meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities
can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.

He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils , napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women...

[andrea81]

LOL - I can totally relate to this hapenning in all of our family BBQ's!

[Lakitu]

Because it's a tongue in cheek observation, Joe-King. Don't like it, don't comment.

[Marijn]

Excellent :-)

[Lakitu]

Fair enough in other categories, but this is 'jokes' for goodness sake. It wasn't meant to be serious nor intended to start a debate as to whether the average British family can relate to it or not.

[squarebear]

I thought it was pretty funny.

It's supposed to be a joke numbnuts, not an essay on domestic arrangements

[ChuckFickens]

You did miss of the important part about the man nearly destroying the conservatory/gazebo/surrounding trees in a fireball whilst trying to get the BBQ lit though.

[Lakitu]

LOL. When I first started dating my ex, he held a BBQ, which included his Dad and his Grandad amongst the guests.

He had borrowed the gas BBQ from someone but for some reason he put tin foil over the grill.

After 10 or 15 minutes had passed his dad noticed this and told him he shouldn't have foil over it. My ex and his dad started to peel back the foil, with his Grandad standing right beside them watching. Of course, as soon as it could, the gas fire ball blew up into the air and singed the eyebrows and eyelashes of all 3.

Single handedly, one of the funniest BBQ accidents I've ever seen!

[twazerk]

Ok, It's probably not true but I was told this as if it was.
A man came into B&Q to complain that a disposable BBQ he bought had no meat in it, when he was told thats how they were he said he had two more at home he wanted to return.........................in the freezer!

[Avatar]

How can you disagree or agree with a joke?!
If you like it you laugh, if you don't you don't.
Simple.

A name of Joe-king and a lack of a sense of humour, how ironic.

[terambulan]

This is really not on......am killing myself laughing reading these jokes; eyes and nose streaming. The old man just walked thru in his dressing gown, stood frowning (as he always did if he thought I was having fun) with that "u should be in bed look"!

But hey.......I'm a widow, so I can please myself!!

20/10 Lakita