Quizzes & Puzzles0 min ago
I don't kno where jokes go so i'll stick it here
8 Answers
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor. " "Listen, don't waste time," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Asda. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs five pounds. . . a lot quicker and better than a doctor. " So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Asda.
He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks"
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to Asda, eager to check the results. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. and thank you for shopping at Asda.
He deposits five pounds, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks"
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to Asda, eager to check the results. He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. and thank you for shopping at Asda.
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Im great actually.
Liked the joke too : 0)
If you ever wanna pop an email to me
[email protected]
Be great to hear from ya : 0)
Bring on the chimps
oooh ah ahhh oo oo ahhhh ah ah ahhhhh aahhhaaa
Liked the joke too : 0)
If you ever wanna pop an email to me
[email protected]
Be great to hear from ya : 0)
Bring on the chimps
oooh ah ahhh oo oo ahhhh ah ah ahhhhh aahhhaaa
im sure thrs a section somewhr sarah9. Yur the woman who had all the jealousy issues with yur sister arnt yu? Yu wer being a bitch to her, did yu take peoples advice and get help as its not healthy yu know. Yu came across as a realy vindictive person but thers help for yu if yu want it. Although most people thoth yu were on the wind up.
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