i dont understand parents !

[chrisandbex]

hello ,and have been riding for 1ear ,i go for riding lessons once a week and regulary go and see my mates pony "seften" were i ride her pony and help look after it and i also read horse books and learn a lot from themlove horses and have been wanting one since i was 6!!! I know that if i were to get one i would spend all my time and money on it ! it would be a ! So a perfect oppertunity arrived when my friend is selling her horse " seften " for �2000 and then buying a new horse (her horse would also come with tack and rugs ! I love this pony and i could not see him go , i love riding him and been with him ,and when i look into his hazel eyes i know i cant see him go to another home were i will never bve able to see him agian !So i asked my mum and dad if i could get this horse (and my parents know this girls parents etc:) ( the girl is called   Becci ) and they said NO! but i do not understand why ? Ok i know we are not loaded but stiil we only have a small house and a pet cat and rat ! Both my parents work and i have the  time and money to buy this horse ! So why do my parents say no ! it makes me cry everytime they say it cause i know if i were to have a horse we would be the best of friends ! I have said they can have alll my spending money and this year i will have no crimbo or birthday pressies ,but still NO ! so i asked if i could leesh a horse or part share one ,but still NO ! And also if you want to work woth horses when u r older do u have to be around them as you are young cause if so that is my future career doomed ! SO are my parents just mean or what ,i need a horse and they are been tooooooo strict and i hate them for been like this with me ! i understand what it costs and such to have a horse and i know it is hard and takes a lot of care and time but i am set for the challenge ,so what is my next step cause i am lost and am praying on a night for a horse and parents that will allow my dream to come true !!

[BondGirl]

Aw hon, it's a hard one.  When i was young, I too dreamed of having my own horse.  Try not to hate your parents and try if you can, to see what it is like for them.  Most younger people (You never said how old you are), go thru phases of wanting animals, promising to look after them etc, and then 6 mths later, the novelty wears off.  It is also a huge expense - from buying , feeding, buying bedding, horse insurance, veterinary costs to costs for stableing and this would be a lot to ask of your parents.   Then of course, when you've out grown him, a horse is even more expensive.  Being a grown up, means becoming sensible and having to make horrible decisions, even when you don't want to.  Your parents have you (and possibly any brothers and sisters you may have), and you are their responsibility.  �2,000 is a huge amount of money for them to suddenly find,  as no doubt they will have a mortgage to pay for, house insurance, car tax, TV licence, car insurance, coucil tax, ....the list is endless.  Then of course, if you have siblings, they will want something just as expensive.

I think you will have to resign yourself to the fact that Seften (lovely name by the way, and also the name of a horse sadly killed in London MANY years ago, although his spelling was Sefton) will be leaving.  You could always ask the new owners if you could exercise him occasionally if they are local?  I can  only suggest that you spend as much quality time with him as possible and accept the inevitable.  I'm afraid life is all about saying goodbye to people and animals that we love, but there is always sunshine after the rain - you will get your horse/pony one day.  I am sure your parents are breaking their hearts too at not being able to give you what you most want, but they have made their decision for good reason.

All the best, and try and be brave xx

[shalforette]

I know exactly how you feel. I too was desperate for a pony when I was young. I now understand at 30 the commitment and expense needed (all those cold winter mornings etc.) but I worked hard at school and at work and am now the proud owner of a wonderful horse. So try and understand why your parents say no and work towards becoming independant then if you still want a horse or pony you can get one that is all yours.

[nect4r]

Hi,

Why is your friend selling her horse and getting a "new" one?

 

I know that you think it would be great to have a horse, but it costs a *LOT* of money. Also how would you look after it? Would it be stabled? If so, don't you think that's a cruel way to look after a horse? I'm assuming by your answer that you don't have a large house with a frield etc.

[Solarjunkie]

Afraid I can't help with your current problem - but I can assure you that it is possible to have a career with horses without having been brought up with them - I know people who are doing this at the moment - it took years of determination and taking every chance even to do some mucking out - but it paid off in the end.

Good luck.

[boodle]

chick its a hard one just try sitting down and explaining to them like a grown up and being rashional about it or they will just start shouting

good luck

[woofgang]

honey, I am not sure of your age but I would guess no older than young teen? I am middle aged and ride, looked into owning my own horse and when you consider renting a field with a shelter, vets bills, farriers bills, insurance, feed bedding, tack repacement, I found that I could have a group riding lesson every week for the same cost and no work! Do you have riding lessons or go to a stables? Loads of them run "own a pony" weekends and BHS training so that you can get ready to have your own horse when you are older.

Are you telling me that you actually have 2,000 pounds in your savings and can earn all the money that the horse will cost to keep?? Plus being able to do all the feeding, grooming, field clean up and stable clean up?? AND go to school and keep your grades up?? Who will look after your horse when you are sick or on holiday or on a school trip?? I know that you don't want to hear this, but your parents are probably right. Also I think that it is now the law that under ?16's ?18's are not allowed to own animals, so your parents would have to buy the horse and take responsibility for it.

If you really love Seften, then you will be pleased to see him go somewhere where everyone wants him and he can be properly cared for. Sorry, you probably didn't want to hear that either

[Noweia]

BondGirl's answer was very good! 

It is possible to have a career working with horses even if you dont have your own - horse charities are always looking for volunteers and you can work at stables - and build up plenty of experience that way! :)

[dmsjps]

Hi chrisandbex, please don't give up hope of ever having a career with horses because if you really want to, you will. My neice always wanted a horse, but her (single) mother could never afford one and all the costs they incur. When she reached 18 years of age, she got herself a job in a stables, mucking out. They spotted her natural affinity with horses, she has gradually risen through the ranks and they do anything to keep her from straying to a competing stables, etc.

If your parents can't afford to help and buy your dream, then you really have to do it yourself. That means hard work and determination, I'm sure you know that anyway. In the end, not only will your parents be proud of you and your achievement, but you will feel so much better having done it yourself too.

Good luck, I hope your dream comes true.

[Shire]

Even if your parents cannot afford to get you a horse, there is no reason why you could not have a career with horses when you are older.  Perhaps you could do some voluntary work at your local stables, so not only will you be around horses, but you will be learning skills that will help you if you are ever lucky enough to be able to own your own horse.

Please don't be cross with your parents though, at least you are having riding lessons once a week, which is more than my parents could afford when I was younger!

[Shire]

Also, slightly off-topic - a question for nect4r - why is keeping a horse in a stable a "cruel way to look after a horse"?  As long as the horse gets enough exercise, why do you think that it should not be kept in a stable at night, or when not being exercised?