What's been your biggest faux pas?

[Psybbo]

Mine was to point out a lady on a bus with a strange haircut to a school friend, who, on looking round, said " that's my aunt" and went off to talk to her

[Frank97]

I once told my girlfriend that I thought a particular sounded dead common only for her to tell me that was her mothers name!

[Frank97]

''particular name''

[NoMercy]

Not a faux pas as such but I went into Tesco this morning and put some shopping I bought elsewhere in my trolley. I walked around the store for ages before going to the checkout. When I got to the till the cashier smiled politely as she waited for me to put my goods onto the conveyor belt... and it was then I realised I hadn't got a single item in my trolley. I did a quick u-turn and went back round the store until I found something I wanted to buy.

[karenmac60]

Ran into an old school friend I'd heard was pregnant and patted her stomach while gushing about how she 'looked ready to pop', only for her to tell me her son was 3 months old...

[beanebabe]

At a works conference I had a total rant about this bloke we were using as a consultant. Little did I know, one of the group of people I was with, was his son, ouch. Luckily, he saw the funny side of it and agreed with most of what I'd said.

[daffy654]

Lol @ karen. I once told my daughter that a girl she had been at school with was heavily pregnant and looked about ready to pop, I had the misfortune to bump into this girl when I was with my daughter and after my daughter asked her when she was due she said "i'm not pregnant, just fat". The girl must have been mortified and I felt awful for her.

[Arksided]

I've put my foot in it many times... but one that always springs to mind is ... when not seeing an old friend for a few years saying to her "Congratulations, when is it due?"

The expression on her face made it clear she wasn't pregnant.

[Arksided]

^spooky

[chrissa1]

We were on holiday in Cyprus in 1994. I had just recovered from a badly broken leg and had had to have my leg in plaster for 6 months.
I had seen this German woman around the pool who was walking like me,(with a bit of a limp). At dinner that evening the woman was coming towards me with her husband. I stopped them and asked how long she'd been in plaster as I'd just come out of it. She didn't speak English but her husband glared at me and said in a stiff Germanic way, "she has been like this from birth".

Cue red face, babbled apologies and a quick exit.

[Frank97]

I just remembered another one.
A chap who used to occasionally drink in my local lent his truck to two other blokes I knew to go to another pub just up the road, his local, on the way back they were both killed in a crash, a couple of nights later the truck owner came into my local and said that he'd just been into the pub up the road, to which I asked '' how come you're down here tonight Al, is it dead up there''.

[Anngel123]

First day on the job fellow worker was looking at a piece of glassware received as a gift. he did not look over impressed...it was revolting. I made some unflattering remark and asked who had given it...turned out to be his Dad, WHO WAS MY NEW BOSS. Oops. I still worked there for over a year.

[naomi24]

Congratulating someone I hadn't seen for a while on being pregnant. "I'm not", she said. "I'm just fat". :o/

[parkie]

Some years ago when I was a sales rep. I used to call on a buyer in a major company and he always stayed sitting behind his desk. Until this one occasion when he had to look up some records and got up to walk to the filing cabinet. Seeing he was limping very badly I made a joke about 'had he been playing football over the weekend?'
He gave me a withering look and and said, "No. I have an artificial leg."
(I still got an order).

[karenmac60]

Naomi, Chrissa and Daffy - much as I was embarrassed by my faux pas, I was recently on the receiving end when a customer congratulated me and asked me when I was due. I'm not even fat but I do tend to get a bit of a pot belly after lunch. I've made his life hell ever since... ;)

[owdhamer]

telling a butch looking girl she looked like danny la rue, still got the bruises

[Slapshot]

many years ago before the advent of computer thingys we used to plot weather charts by hand (great fun), anyway I was away from my normal base and our main centre in Glasgow. I'd plotted a thunderstorm location chart which we'd do with successive reports over a couple of hours or so.

Anyway I'd plotted this chart and handed it to the Chiefy (a right miserable pudding if ever there was one) with the words "there's a colour key at the side."

Now I don't give a toss how senior these people are if they treat you like crap they get crap back.

Anyway, a few seconds later he shouted that this chart was no f**king use to him, so I said why, you f**cking colour blind.......his response...Yes I f**king am!!

The office almost literally cleared because everyone was near wetting themselves including me. A bit of a foxs paw but at least I gave folk a laugh

[looobylooo]

i recently nipped into tesco one tea time for a few bits,
i was having a slow gander round the aisles when i spotted a shop assistant re-pricing the near-end-of-sell-by-date food items, and placing them up onto the shelves..
so i thought i'd stop and have a nosey, to see if there was any bargains to be had..
but 3 woman were stood nattering together, right by the stand, while they waited, and i wasn't able to get near to see what was what..
so not wanting to look too eager, i thought i'd stand aside, and casually have a quick little rummage through the trolley of the 'soon-to-be-reduced items', while i waited too..
so there i was leaning into the trolly, as you do, minding my own business, picking up and putting back this n that that was in there, when next thing i hear a voice behind me, from one of the 3 women, say..
''err excuse me love? what you doing? thats MY shopping in that trolley..!!''

[Arksided]

^ lol, i'll say no more but that is funny.

[Sir Alec]

Too many to mention.

[Arksided]

Come on Sir Alec there must be at least one your willing to share??? that wasn't too bad.