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I have an eight year-old daughter who is totally lovely and bright - she did very well in her SATS exams. She is well adjusted, sweet-natured and popular at school. She has the odd stroppy outburst but my view is that it's good that she has the confidence to do that. However, I am worried by her long-standing and overwhelming attachment to various soft toys. She currently favours a zebra and seems to communicate throught this toy, constantly hugging it and asking me to play with it and respond to it. It's almost as if she want's me to ignore the person behind the toy, ie. her, and just interact with the zebra. She has a real resistance to reading or any kind of academic work at home (except drawing sometimes) and I am now seriously worried about her development. I am divorced and I know that my daughter keeps a lot to herself for fear of causing arguments between her parents. I wonder if this is playing a part in her behaviour, but all in all I need now to seek outside advice. Is anyone qualified to help?
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.i am not qualified to help but i offer my opinion and what i would do!! i think your child may want to open upto you about certain things but feels it is hard to do so and is using the toys to speak to you through them. If it was my daughter i would speak to her through the toys if that is the only way she feels comfortable opening up then so be it at least you will know what is going on in her little head and then be able to help her with any problems!!
Hope that makes sense and helps you in some way x x
I am not qualified, apart from having had a very disturbed childhood.
I think Wonky's answer is exactly what I would say. If she's offering this window of communication, then use it as a way in. Talk to Zebra 'ask' him how she feels about various things & listen for clues as to how she's feeling. 8 is very young still, and if a soft toy makes her feel secure I certainly wouldn't think it was cause for worry.
I was a deeply unhappy child, and I remember finding it very hard to concentrate on any academic work at home, as my mind was full of worries. I bet if I could have talked about the worries I probably would have been a lot happier. Perhaps 'Zebra' can be a bit of a go-between for you & your daughter until she gets a bit older & more able to voice her worries directly. I'm sure there won't be a big problem as you sound like a lovely Mum & you are going to be there for her.
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