Atheist getting married in church

[milly143]

We were talking last night about the future, etc and weddings came up. He asked me where I would want to get married and as an atheist, I said I would feel a bit hypocritcal getting married in a church but it does form part of that dream wedding idea you have from childhood.

What do you think about atheists getting married in a church?

[mccfluff]

i think its hypocritcal

[Bbbananas]

I would say the vast majority of people getting married in a church are not regular churchgoer's or even firm believers. And the same goes for babies being christened.

[jackthehat]

If it is your intention to be joined together 'before God' then, naturally, a church is the place to do it.
If your intention is to be joined in matrimony together with all that means 'formally' and legally, then surely a Register Office is the best place ?

[LoftyLottie]

Quite honestly, because of my beliefs I do not believe churches to be holy places and think they should be used these days for all sorts (as well as for normal worship of course). I think people should get married where they like and if a church is the setting they would like then that's fine. But I do think that the religious ceremony part doesn't make sense.

Church buildings are often used for youth meetings, Village meeting, etc. these days so why not civilian weddings!! I don't think this is possible at the moment though I think it should be.

[LoftyLottie]

Milly, you can have a dream wedding in a hotel if you want, as long as it is licenced for weddings. Loads of other places are licenced too.

Mind you, dream weddings have never been my cup of tea!!

[mccfluff]

i agree with you there lofty, i think a church is a romantic setting for a wedding, i just have issues with people pretending to be religious - attending church for x amount of weeks beforehand etc etc, just so they can have their ceremony in a church

[ummmm]

Do C of E churchs make you take 'lessons' like the Catholic church does?

[LoftyLottie]

I think so ummmm.

[mccfluff]

not sure about lessons but i know my mates had to go to church every sunday for i think 6 weeks before the wedding, might of been 8

[Ratty2E]

Well my other half is not the least bit religious and I felt it would be hypocrytical to just 'use' the church for our wedding. We got married in a registery office as that was the only other choice then. There are so many lovely places you can get married in now there's no need to do it in a church if you don't believe. Also if you are genuinely an atheist then why would you want to be in a church anyway.

[LoftyLottie]

I think you have to go and have a little chat with the vicar at the very least ummmm. The thought of having a little chat with our vicar would put me off!! He is very, very weird indeed and his eyes look in separate directions!!

[milly143]

I agree Lottie. Out of the 4 of my 6 siblings who are married, only one of them got married in a Church and had his children christened but the other 3 weddings were all in lovely places and it didn't make the day any less special because it wasn't in a church. I also don't agree with having to pretend to be religious just for the sake of getting venue you want. He says he would want to get married in the local church as that's where he was christened but I don't think he's stepped foot inside when he hasn't had to since then anywya.

[LoftyLottie]

Ratty Churches are lovely buildings and usually have plenty of seating and nice settings. One good reason for using them for weddings ;o)

(I got married in a registry office on a Monday morning!!)

[ummmm]

In the Catholic church you have a 'loads' of chats. Seriously though...what is a celibate man going to tell you about married life?

[LoftyLottie]

Millie, I would never, ever pretend to be religious and go to church just so I could get married there. It would make a mockery of the marriage and marriage is a serious undertaking.

[LoftyLottie]

I can just imagine you and Ginge going for lots of chats ummmm (not) ;o)

[ummmm]

Nooooo not :-)))

Although I do know the priest....he's lovely, and imo quite modern.

[milly143]

Ratty, in honesty because some of the churces around here are beautiful buildings. But I really don't want to be married in the 'eyes of god' when I don't think God exists.

The more I think about it I'm even less keen on the idea.

[LoftyLottie]

A nice hotel then Milly. Perhaps a river setting and an outdoor wedding. Loads to chooose from. I think you have to book a while ahead though - so get cracking!! I presume he has asked you or you him!!! ;o)

[milly143]

Lol, actually no, he hasn't asked yet. But he isn't exactly subtle and for various reasons I'm fairly confident won't be too long before he does.