How to meet decent partners to be!

[oceanauk]

I am a single mother of 35 and have been for many years now.  I am totally devoted to raising my son but feel I also would like to start meeting men again but just don't know how to anymore.  I do not go out much as it is just not possible; I am too far away from friends and family.  My main problem is that I have lost all my confidence and cannot even talk properly to people anymore without going red or stuttering.  I have very old fashioned values and I just feel so outdated as a person that I would never meet anybody with similar values.  Anyway, does anybody have any realistic, serious suggestions?  Thanks.

[sasserina]

Maybe first you need to gain the confidence,and the way you may start to do that is by getting out...I dont mean to pubs and clubs...but take up a hobby..Maybe a language at college or aqua aerobics at the leisure centre...something you enjoy...maybe you could treat yourself to some new clothes and get a new hairstyle to jump start the " new you "..then when you feel better in you then is the time to manhunt;..you may not even have to try he may just be there in front of you in the supermarket....i found the key is to smile..and laugh...love yourself and the world...You will get there I guarantee...good luck x

[Andy008]

The existentialist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once stated:

"There is, logically, no difference between pretending to have confidence, and actually having it".

[Clare A]

All good advice, as is the norm on here. I'd go out and pursue an interest, not with the main aim of meeting men, but aiming to meet people of either sex on equal terms. You will soon know people whom you might like to see again, and much could spiral from that. A small circle of friends can easily widen that way. Book club, language, sport, church, adult literacy tuition, youth-leading activities? Your son's school? Just because you have 'old-fashioned values' doesn't mean there is no-one out there who feels the same way as you do.

[Dom Tuk]

Very many friendships are made at places of work. Some lead to long term relationships. You could consider getting a part time job as your home committments allow you to. You will gain confidence from meeting people at work and you may find a partner there.

[ICEMANSAV]

If you go out the the sign " I want to meet men" then that is what you will do, generally the wrong type who will use you! By just going out and having fun like others have suggested to groups or activity based clubs you stand a better chance of a relationship. Oh and always be honest about your child, don't hide that in an attempt to snare!

[ursula62]

You can meet people in all sorts of places - often the most unexpected.

A single mum friend of my sister's used to help out with the after school club at her son's junior school. She met a single dad whose daughter was 2 years older than her son. Five years later they were married with another baby on the way.

If you have nobody to mind your son when you go out, try and find an interest that both of you can do - or an interest for him that you can help at, e.g. Scouts, Boys Brigade, Football club etc.

[5029]

Speed dating or singles nights?

 

I know there's a bit of a stigma attached but they are meant to be great fun!!

[oceanauk]

Thank you everybody for taking the time to give some advice & Andy for making me smile - guess that is pretty true!!  I have recently started working part time at my the local infant school and I'm at least meeting other adults!!!  I do find it hard to speak to people (of any sex) as I just feel like I'm speaking complete garbage most of the time - but hey one step at a time! To Iceman I'd like to say that indeed I would never hide the fact I have a child - he is my world and I'm proud of him so it would be honesty and integrity all the way!  Thanks again to all of you who took the time to reply!!