I might be banned from my local (cinema, not pub).

[Bbbananas]

I've just remembered the last time Lil & I went to my local cinema. 2 days before my granddaughter (did I happen to mention she was beautiful??!!) was born. We'd had a fre pinots in The Moon, so were already excitable. We were watching Bridesmaids, a rather rude comedy. Got a text from the future DIL saying "I'm 2cms dilated". I screamed to Lil "She's 2 cms dilated". I was shushed... Lil screamed back "She's 2cms dilated".

We picked up our handbags & sprinted like madwomen from the front of the cinema squealing like banshees as though birth was imminent. The audience laughed at us more than the very funny film.

It wasn't til we got outside, after a very loud phone call, that we realised that actually 2cms dilated is not all that much really.

We weren't allowed to go back into the film because we'd caused too much disruption.

So maybe Harry Potter with my niece is not an option? If I promise not to look at my phone, to have a drink beforehand, and to stay very quiet, maybe we'll be allowed in? It would be jolly mean not to.

[boxtops]

LOL salla! Just don't throw popcorn about, that's not a good look.

[Sqad]

<<<<We weren't allowed to go back into the film because we'd caused too much disruption. >>>>

Blimey salla, some people have no sense of humour or drama ...do they.

A woman 2cms dilated.......pheeew! I would be dashing out of the cinema with you.........woooow!

[boxtops]

LOL, sqad, I can't imagine you in the cinema watching Bridesmaids in the first place ;-)

[Bbbananas]

Oh shut up sqad - it was the heat & excitement of the moment. I had waited 3 weeks for the call or text saying that labour had started. 2cms dilation, in the head of 2 slightly inebriated grandmums-to-be seemed important.

;-)

[Sqad]

salla...I HATED midwifery...HATED it.........hated MIDWIVEs......hated pregnant woman......knowalls, full of myths and full of hormones which made them even more irrational.

Everything happened at night....the sewing up could wait until the morning, but ...no...the midwives demanded it being done there and then.

BUT.....I love your new arrival..........;-)

[boxtops]

Wait til the morning? Phew, I'm glad you weren't my obs person - it's bad enough having one set of people groping around down there, not having another lot come back after breakfast!

[Bbbananas]

You are a strange contradictory annoying but weirdly loveable person sqad....

So a woman who has gone through the trials and pain of labour, has been cut in her most private & sensitive of parts with pinking shears, can wait til morning to have her bits stitched? I am (almost) speechless. But not surprised ;-)

[Sqad]

salla...YES.

[Bbbananas]

Barbarian.

I still love you, you old scr0te x

[heathfield]

We were banned from our local cinema just because we had brought some of our own food with us. Pity. We hadn't had a barbeque in ages! ;-)

[Safiya]

LOL at your breakfast comment boxy.... when i had my last little un I told them i was going for a couple of cuppas, some toast and a fag before they stitched me up.... i was flipping starving

[boxtops]

Gives you time to do your own cross-stitch on your nether regions, I suppose...

[Bbbananas]

Ouch.... I've never been very good at needlework. I can barely manage to sew a button on properly, never mind repair my battered perineum. :-(

[boxtops]

Duck tape is good, salla ;-)

[Bbbananas]

Do you mean duct?

pmsl

[boxtops]

Yes, LOL, but the one we buy has a duck on the label, we always call it Duck Tape!

[Sqad]

Just to cheer you up, a little story.
As students doing “midder” we had to deliver on the district for 3 months under the supervision of these fat” Sarah Gamps.”
A list was put up in the hospital entrance and when there was a delivery imminent, the midwife would call the student and then put his name to the bottom of the list and we would all move up one.

That night I had toothache and took painkillers and a swig of whisky and had an early night, but unfortunately, there was a burst of deliveries and my name soon came to the top.

The phone rang and I was summoned to the main hall to pick up the bag (of tools) and cycle with the midwife to the patient. As I put my leg over the bike, my knee hit the saddle and I fell over with the bike into a heap in Whitechapel Road and she accused me of being drunk. I cycled down the road with her (or behind her) to a 10 story block of flats in the Mile End Road, with the lift not working.
As we got into the flat, filled with folks and kids, there was a bleeding gaping hole between this woman’s legs with a mass of humanity forcing it’s way out.

“Come on doctor ( they loved calling the students doctor, sarcastic bitches) get hold of the baby”
As it came out like a jet plane , I grabbed it and it slipped out of my hands and it “dangled” over the side of the bed, hanging by the umbilical cord, swinging backwards and forwards.

I was banished into the other room with the “tribe” to sit out the delivery.

Paaah!

[boxtops]

LOL, I hope she named it after you, sqad....

[Sqad]

boxy....I hope not......he was named Mohamed .....;-)

[boxtops]

Well sqad, you never know....