Crosswords11 mins ago
i want my ex boyfriend back. should i tell him before he leaves?
3 Answers
Ok so my ex boyfriend broke up with me about 6 months ago because of the fact that I can't show affection in public.I only find it difficult in public - I was not embarrassed by him, just shy I'm fine with it in private.
It was a long term relationship. Usually we would be apart from two months at most, but were together for over a year. He is going away again this weekend coming.
I accepted the break up and left him alone, then recently I saw him and he text afterwards saying how it was really good to see me and he hopes to again soon.
So pretty much once a week I have tried to start conversation with him because I still really like him and want us to try our relationship again.
Most of the time he hints that he likes me, Sometimes he has been drinking, sometimes not.
A couple of weeks ago I was worried about talking too much and told him it was because I missed him, but he should tell me to back off if he wants. He said of course not and thinks we should talk, because its better for things to be in the open before he goes, and encouraged me to say more.
So I did ask him to when I was out. He was out aswell. We went somewhere quiet to talk, but didn't. He just kissed me. All he said was that he still loved me, but I can't show affection, so is really confused. I said maybe we should talk another time, to which he agreed.
Next day, I asked again (I didn't realise he had drunk so much until we were leaving so wanted a sober reply). He only replied to the friendly part of the message, and after that didn't reply at all to my reply.
I feel I should just leave him alone now he is going, but I don't understand his mixed signals.
I thought we would work things out, because surely it is obvious that now I know about his insecurities with public affection that I will try extra hard to do this for him.
I feel like if he cared as much as he said he would accept that I can't change my personality that easily and it will take time. I can't prove it unless he lets me. Should I say something before he goes despite his reluctance when I suggested talking? or just say something friendly
It was a long term relationship. Usually we would be apart from two months at most, but were together for over a year. He is going away again this weekend coming.
I accepted the break up and left him alone, then recently I saw him and he text afterwards saying how it was really good to see me and he hopes to again soon.
So pretty much once a week I have tried to start conversation with him because I still really like him and want us to try our relationship again.
Most of the time he hints that he likes me, Sometimes he has been drinking, sometimes not.
A couple of weeks ago I was worried about talking too much and told him it was because I missed him, but he should tell me to back off if he wants. He said of course not and thinks we should talk, because its better for things to be in the open before he goes, and encouraged me to say more.
So I did ask him to when I was out. He was out aswell. We went somewhere quiet to talk, but didn't. He just kissed me. All he said was that he still loved me, but I can't show affection, so is really confused. I said maybe we should talk another time, to which he agreed.
Next day, I asked again (I didn't realise he had drunk so much until we were leaving so wanted a sober reply). He only replied to the friendly part of the message, and after that didn't reply at all to my reply.
I feel I should just leave him alone now he is going, but I don't understand his mixed signals.
I thought we would work things out, because surely it is obvious that now I know about his insecurities with public affection that I will try extra hard to do this for him.
I feel like if he cared as much as he said he would accept that I can't change my personality that easily and it will take time. I can't prove it unless he lets me. Should I say something before he goes despite his reluctance when I suggested talking? or just say something friendly
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When you say, you don't show affection, what exactly do you mean, and what does he mean? not everyone shows affection in public or keeps kissing or holding onto their partners in public - what sort of things would he like you to do in public?
It may be something to do with his own personality, not yours, that he's insecure without public affection.
I would just be friendly for the meantime, and wait and see if he contacts you again next time he's home.
It may be something to do with his own personality, not yours, that he's insecure without public affection.
I would just be friendly for the meantime, and wait and see if he contacts you again next time he's home.
Just be friendly, let him do the chasing if he wants you. And be yourself and don't do things you are not happy with. If you don't like shows of affection in public thats OK. I think sometimes it's better to look ahead and not go back to an old relationship, think back to the reasons you broke up before. You seem to be quite young, so you've loads of time to kiss a few frogs before finding THE one.
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