Rude mother

[sherrardk]

I have invited all the children in my daughter's class to her party regardless of what I think of their parents or my relationship with their parents (it's a small village and there have been 'issues' - not of our making). Anyway, today I asked one of the mothers if her son was coming to the party and she was really rude - no eye contact and just said 'I don't think so' in a really aggressive tone. No excuse offered or thanks for the invite, etc. They only live next door but one so I know that they don't go far (and obviously I will know if they are in on the day of the party). Why do people use their kids in this way, why stop the boy coming to a party just because she is not keen on me? (And its not just me, other people commented on how rude she was.).

[ummmm]

Maybe there is something going on in her life that you know nothing about.

[boxtops]

I wouldn't let it get at you, sherrard - I agree it's not nice to use a child as a pawn, it sounds like her problem, not the boy's - but you can't do much about it. At least you weren't the only one wo thought she was rude, she's doing herself no favours there.

[sherrardk]

Hi both - she's a 'sort' but it seems really unfair for the boy to miss out, she can be as rude as she likes to me but I feel sorry for him (he's only six and she talks to him like dirt in the street, so God knows how she talks to him in the house).

[albaqwerty]

errr Sherr 'regardless of what I think of their parents or my relationship with their parents'

Much as I like your posts, this one appears to be not doing you any favours.

[China Doll]

Maybe she'll take her son out for the day to do something partcularly fun so he won't feel like he's missed out on a party. And maybe she thinks you have been particularly rude to her in the past (not saying you have). Maybe she's just having a really tough time. That's a lot of 'maybe's' and ultimately, as long as your daughter has a cracking time then who in the world would care, it's her special day and I'm sure she'll have fun. I wouldn't worry myself at all about this.

[ummmm]

It's hard....but you really don't know what's going on behind doors.

[sallybb]

could you get your little girl to do a personal invite to the boy. Might thaw some of the ice with the rude mother, if her son asks her directly.

[sherrardk]

Hi all, I'm not keen on her and there are parents who are friendly with the people who ripped my husband off, stole all his stock, etc. It's only a small place so everyone knows everyone's business, just don't think people should use their kids like this. (If the daugher of the people who ripped my husband off were in my daughter's class I would have invited her so she didn't feel left out.)

[cupid04]

Is it possible she is financially embarassed and cant afford a birthday present.

[sherrardk]

Hi Cupid, don't think it is a money thing (obvioulsy could be wrong, but she's got the money to do her hair and smoke - none of ours ever missed a party even when we had to go bankrupt).

[bednobs]

perhaps the son dosen't want to come,or dosen't like your daughter

[Buenchico]

It might not directly be related to money but it could still be that she refuses all party invitations for her son because she's worried that she'll then have to hold a party on his birthday, in order to return all of the invitations (with concerns either about the cost of the party or about letting people see the state of her house).

[sherrardk]

Don't think the son has a say in it really. It's just made me wonder how people can use their kids like this, never mind, one less party bag to sort out.

[Ann]

Gosh - you are better off without her in your life methinks!

[sherrardk]

It's not the refusal - it was the manner of it (one of those 'you had to be there' things I suppose).

[Katie~77]

See, this is why I don't mingle with the mums at the school gate. I know none of their business and they know none of mine. It's really no big deal - you've invited a child to your childs party and he can't go - oooh and maybe his mum was having an off day.

[sherrardk]

Sorry all - she's just not very nice. My question was worded badly - it should have been more along the lines of why do people use their kids in their own little spats?

[Katie~77]

If I really disliked someone, I doubt very much that I'd want my little darlings spending time with them.

[sherrardk]

Hi Katie - there is a lot of stuff behind this, just feel bad that people let their kids get 'involved', the other kids will be coming and it just seems unfair on the lad (he seems a nice little thing). Too much stuff has gone on to explain properly so I probably shouldn't have bothered posting the question in the first place.

[Dolt]

Maybe when it comes to her sons BDay she may not have a party for him, or she doesn't want to invite the whole class, not everyone wants to or can afford to have a large birthday party. BP's can be very expensive, especially if your kid is going to 20 classmates or so a year, that's 20+ presents a year. (or however many in in the class)