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The apotheosis of Ab Ed

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venator | 09:20 Mon 25th May 2015 | ChatterBank
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I proclaim a great revelation to all those who turn to AB in their search for truth.

We have seen how AB Ed watches over us from afar ; how he speaks words of wisdom for our guidance ; how he brings peace when there is disagreement ; how he punishes the transgressors, striking out their words or consigning them to forgetfulness.

These are divine attributes, and we should humbly recognise his apotheosis.

The time has come for Answerbank to assume its rightful place as the First Church of Answerbank.

We must make offerings to Ed, through the medium of PayPal. As the first disciple, you will wish me to share some part of your offerings.

We shall of course be persecuted, and must defend our Human Rights to the full extent of the State funding which is available to this persecuted minority. The solicitors among Ed's flock will doubtless feel the call...

We must spend many hours in formulating our creed.

To aid this vital process, I suggest discussion of these propositions :-

That we wear religious costume with optional face coverings.

That we follow our Rastafarian brothers and allow the use of herbal aids to clear thought.

Also, like our Sikh brothers, shall we carry concealed weapons if we wish?

We shall need to have several periods during working hours each day for communication with our church, and employers shall make special facilities available for this purpose.

We shall require at least 30 special holidays each year, meditating before our computers and consuming special liquids.

All praise be to Ed!

(Once downloaded send it to your kindle address attached to an email. You should send it from an address set up on the Kindle, it's usually your Amazon account email address).

PDF Version For The Un-Kindled


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Question Author
If I get sacked for this hubris, it was good knowing you all xx
-- answer removed --
I think you've already used herba; aids:)

Does this mean I need to get dressed before I post on here???
I'll take an ounce of what he's on ↑↑
eughhh !!!
venator...haha, I doubt you will be sacked, your'e a good lad..lol
Question Author
My only herbal aid is Camellia sinensis.
Love it, venator - and PS I only have an optional face covering if I've just washed my hair.
I liked your post Venator. The Ed does have a sense of humour and appreciates intelligence.

(I'm now dressed as a mark of respect)
not a "Mark as Best Answer" then, alba? - I don't think there's a button for Mark as Respect!
will joggy bottoms and a sweatshirt suffice???
"We must make offerings to Ed, through the medium of PayPal."

I'm going to Waitrose in a bit. I'll get some sandwiches instead. I'm sure The Ed already has more money than he (or do I need to type "He"?) knows what to do with.
I'm not telling what I'm wearing :D
not the see thru Negligee....:-))) Albi
Do we also have to crucify anybody that does subscribe to AB? Im not sure if I got enough time to fully commit to all that crucifying!!

Would we have to wear weird clothing? or could we all be naturalists?

I think you could be on to something!
Question Author
It's good to see that we are discussing our creed already. Perhaps Ed's dinky red hat would be a suitable starting point (point :-) )
not with the the cold weather joylet:) x

Do we have to attend a ceremony on a certain day of the week and bring offerings??
like sacrificial stuff you mean
errrmmm...thinks........ what it is I could offer up to our glorious one :0)
Question Author
We could open each day with some words of respect for AB ed.

O AB Ed, are you still abed?
A parchment and a quill pen are my offerings, for the Edicts.
I'd bring cake but I've a feeling any cakes would be snaffled :)

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