Exactly, answerprancer. I can give a peculiar example of class structure and thinking.
I was brought up in the same surroundings as you. I remember, at 5 years old and walking to the village school, the old village road mender would tip his cap to me and say '" 'Morning, Master Fred". At 5! That was the, for want of a better word, status, given by an elderly man to a freehold farmer's son in a village in the early 50s, as it was to the vicar's children.. (I'd be in real trouble if I hadn't said "Good morning [whatever his name was] back or forget the name of anyone who greeted me on my mile walk, and reply to them)
Those days are long gone, happily; they were dying out then, for the roadman was old; but the point is that I was sent to the village school. There, I was exactly the same and equal to every other child and they to me. The road mender's grandson, the vicar's daughter, the sons of farm workers, were all my friends and some who remained in the village, have stayed so ever since. It would never occur to me, or to them, that 'status' applied, that we were different and it hasn't since. Outside there was a hierarchy of farmer and employee, the status of vicar, and the rest, but the people were people.
That obsession with appearance or 'common' or 'classy' or 'standards', that 'golf club' thinking, is a peculiarly middle class one.You can't imagine Hyacinth Bouquet sending her 5 year old child to school with 'common' people! But these weren't common to my parents; their thinking was precisely the opposite. The people were villagers, same as me, same as them.
But none of us, nor our parents, were so insecure that we worried about it, about appearances. Nobody was going to worry about what we wore, or lowering the tone, or driving a van rather than a car.
I only became aware of this when in the wider world. My mother was amused and appalled when she heard someone complaining that someone had left their garden gate open at a house in Frinton-on-sea.The house was a deceased's estate and unoccupied, but the neighbour complained that that lowered the tone !It had been like that for a week. Pure Bouquet ! (Why the neighbour couldn't have shut it, was never explained)