How to start dating or a relationship?

[mally2012]

I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend I feel so lonely and a bit immature that I've never experienced a relationship with someone.I would to like to get into one, I've met guys and had sex with them but it's never gone beyond that and its usually left me heartbroken that they only want me for sex or have used me. I would like to start dating but don't know how to go about it I meet guys but somehow they always talk about how they are attracted to me or want to have sex with me or I meet someone and they mistreat me. I just really want one guy that I can give my love and my heart to and that can do the same for me but I don't know how to go about it. I would like to know ways that I can get to know or talk to a guy and start dating or relationship with them.

[Nini74]

try not having sex with them so soon into the "relationship" - if you jump into bed with them the first night you meet them, then they'll just think you're like that with other guys. Sorry if that sounds harsh, i'm not judging you or anything like that, i just don't know how else to word it. You'll find someone one day, you're only 20 so there's plenty of time to get into a serious relationship. Don't worry about meeting Mr Right, the harder you look for him, the harder it is to find him......

[Statistician]

Agree with Nini74 above. Also try social settings that are conjussive for interaction- meeting with friends, friends friends, going with frinds to the pub, quiz nights, getting involved in local events, volunteering, trying new hobbies etc. . basically the more you are out there meeting people and enjoying yourself, the more likely you are to meet someone you like (simplist but its worked for a few friends i know)

[Purple_Popple]

http://www.theanswerb.../Question1163737.html

[Mick-Talbot]

I would like to know ways that I can get to know or talk to a guy and start dating or relationship with them.



You must be talking to them to have sex with them surely?
Stop having sex at the drop of an hat with them and they may want to talk to you again.

[ojread2]

what is "conjussive for interaction" ? I'm confused lol
I've not heard the term before

[ojread2]

D'oh, I get it lol

You meant conducive

[boxtops]

Mally, your other thread bears that out - you have to change your own behaviour. I'm really sorry to say this because I know it's hurtful to hear, but the way you sleep with guys gives them the impression that that's all you want - no wonder that other chap gave your phone number round as someone much too willing.

There's a great deal more to a relationship than sex. Are you able to join a club or something so you change your friends, don't go around all the time with the same group of blokes (some of whom you may have already slept with - that's not a good track record).

You need to see yourself as someone worth having a friendly loving relationship with - start to feel better about yourself, starting thinking No before you even have to say it. As has been said, hopping into bed on the first date all the time won't lead men to respect you as someone worth a long term relationship. This isn't judgemental, I'm not saying you've done wrong, but please step back and look at how your behaviour must look to others in your circle. You are very young - there is plenty of time to change and get your confidence back.

[grffindoor2011]

I'm curious, you say, ''I've met guys and had sex with them but it's never gone beyond that and its usually left me heartbroken''. That tells me you could come across as clingy, being heartbroken after just meeting them and having had sex.

Anyway, I don't agree with 'joining a club', not unless it is a dating club/agency. A club is the typical answer given by Agony Aunts or Americans ('join your local church'). Joining a club simply to meet men will leave you disappointed because it is likely the men are there to do things related to the club. Their intentions will be different to yours.

I did do dating sites after I was divorced. Met some good ones and bad ones, but that's life.

Relationships just happen sometimes. I've had one night stands. Some never went further, a couple of others lasted 4 years plus. In my experience though, I would say that one night stands or having sex at the first opportunity come across bad for both the man and woman. It gives a perception that they can't be trusted in a relationship if sex is so forthcoming that quickly.

I went out with a woman who said she had sex with a non league football team in a hotel over a weekend, her friends confirmed it was true. I ran a mile. I know it's an extreme example but one that may give an indication as to why men go no further with you.

I would try dating sites. My Uncle has just met a lovely woman, they are both in their 70's. My best female mate is marrying a guy she met online 4 years ago. Dating sites used to have a reputation of being for sad people, these days plenty use them young and old. The better ones allow you to put info about you and allow your personality to come across. That is a better option than meeting someone at a club or a pub when you are both tanked up and can't wait to get into bed.