what would you do?

[cameliaheartfelt]

im livid, shaking with anger, want to cry, almost feel like passing out as feel so angry and want to act right away. we usually go away at xmas to our apartment in the sun. our inlaws stay at ours until we get there then rent elsewhere on the complex when we arrive as we only have one bedroom. last year a woman who lives out there found the inlaws an apartment above us and one across from us in the same block. father in law just rung to say that the woman has found them an apartment this year, the one next door. im fuming, just knew it. we have just come back from there and i nearly spoke to the woman and asked if she'd found anywhere for the inlaws yet and as much as we love them, joke joke, we dont want them next door! if only i had! i really want to phone this woman and tell her that next time not to put them next to us. we want to feel like we are on holiday. if i phone the woman though she might get upset and then phone the inlaws though father in law already had one heart attack 10 years ago. i dont think i can wait 11 weeks to then say something to this woman, its upsetting me so much. i can accept it this one time but its dawned on me that this could be every year in future. there is a high wall between us but its open at the top. i just dont think i will be able to relax, speak, move, be initimate if you will, they will be passing things over, across the balcony, icecream that was one thing last time when they were in another block, coming round for a jumper because it went chilly etc etc. i feel like i want to cancel the flights now or change them, get hubby to take me somewhere else but why should we plus they would have the apartment all the time then wouldnt they! i just dont get it how they dont get it. we are pretty close, dont see them too much but when we do they come and stay a night or two. we are off for a special birthday weekend next weekend so i dont want to upset them. i even thought should i ring them and tell them its too close for comfort.. what would you do or can be done? i know im not going to sleep until its resolved, ive got big work commitments for the next 3 weeks and cant afford issues, hubby thinks that maybe the woman on the complex thinks shes done the right thing. im going to sleep on it but i want action. the only thing that i can can think of is when we see woman on complex next year once inlaws come home etc, then mention it to her 'in passing' if possible but i just dont think i can last that long without saying anything. it is making me a wreck. i came off sleeping tablets and valium a while ago and upheavals arent good for me.

[sherrardk]

I would get a grip.

[DTCwordfan]

I'll read this later so as to fall asleep.

Thank you for your soporific babble.

[woofgang]

Can you talk to your MIL? If you can, may be having a bit of a frank woman to woman conversation about how things have been stressful later and how you want to relax and get close to your husband again on hols and how "difficult" this would be with his parents in earshot.

I dont think they don't "get it" i think thy probably have never thought about it.

[EcclesCake]

I would get a sense of perspective.

[cameliaheartfelt]

i was trying to give you all the information to then advise me, thanks! im very upset right now and dont need hassle like this, im looking for genuine advice, the best thing(s) to do, what you would do etc so please dont take the mickey.

[Eve]

The lady may well have thought you'd have wanted to be close to them though, would she have had a reason not to?

[woofgang]

Hello? I gave you genuine advice....have just read your other posts and you do seem to be having a rough time. had you thought of counselling?

[B00]

Get a grip!

There your in -laws, not Fred and Rosemary West! What on earth is wrong in having them next door for a few weeks?

[sherrardk]

I think you have been answered honestly without Mickey taking. Have you seen some of the other posts on here from people with REAL problems. You are going on holiday (loads of people on here haven't had a nice holiday in years), to your second home (again, lots of people on here haven't got a first home) and you are concerned that someone else has helped you out in a way that you feel uncomfortable with. Jeez, 99% of us would love to have your problems.

[Zacs-Master]

I think you should calm down because you're coming across like a spoilt child. What's so bad about your in laws being in the next apartment rather than elsewhere?

[boxtops]

They've obviously indicated to the woman who's doing all this arranging that they LIKE being close to you.... do you have to go away at Christmas, is it a fixed week you have? Whose parents are they, you say "our inlaws" - his parents or yours?

[pretty_snowdrop]

I can understand why you don't want to be next door to the In-Laws but i believe the woman sorting out the apartment was doing what she thought was correct. I mean, you are technically there with the in-laws so i expect she though you wanted to be together. Depending on your relationship with your Inlaws, suggest that them having the apartment next door will impose on THEIR privacy and suggest they need time alone without you being so close. Offer to contact the rental woman for them to get them a better apartment. Good Luck x

[cameliaheartfelt]

each to their own, this problem is subjective no matter what others have or dont have, if it makes me feel ill then its a problem im trying to get advice on. im feeling very erratic right now, hence why no proper paragraphs etc, sorry. im trying to get help and advice so as not to act irrationally. i dont want my holiday ruined by not being able to talk normally, do normal things we do on holiday on the balcony without every word and action being listened in on. they are really nosey and i just want to be able to relax.

[sherrardk]

Sorry, but don't bloody go then - problem solved.

[factor-fiction]

Sorry, I'm not sure why you are going away with them at all if you don't want to be near them.

[Zacs-Master]

According to your earlier question you don't talk anyway!

[askyourgran]

Sleep on it, it won't be as bad as all that. Arrange your days as a couple and make arrangements to meet up at some point during the evening or another day. You are making a drama out of this, and that will only make you ill, relax. Bite your tongue, it may have long lasting consequences blowing up in front of them, and hurting your hubbys feelings too. Obviously the woman thought she was doing the right thing. As you say have a quiet word with her, tell her that you needed a break from them on holiday so next year she can find them something much further away from you.

[boxtops]

Is it your husband's parents then? - it's very difficult to get an unemotional perspective on this. You may have to come outright with it and say you don't want them next door to you - I wouldn't like it but I wouldn't let it ruin my holiday. Just behave normally - why should you be any different?