News1 min ago
Ding Dong - A Few Jokes To Exercise The Chuckle Muscles
I was sitting at home tonight watching the TV when the door bell went.
Kids these days, they’ll nick anything.
What's the first sign of madness?
Suggs walking up your garden path.
Morris dancing!
Ring any bells.
Hear about the bloke who was sacked from the M&Ms sweetie factory.
He kept throwing away all the Ws.
What did Geronimo shout when he jumped out of the aeroplane?
Meeeeeee!
A female dwarf goes to the doctor complaining of a sore f*nny.
The doctor gets some scissors out and snips around a bit.
The dwarf says, 'That feels a lot better, I didn't feel a thing. What have you done?'
Doctors says, 'I've trimmed the top off your wellies.'
I was in Tesco's yesterday and a woman collapsed and died in front of me!
I felt so sorry for her as she'd just bought a bag for life!
I once took a used Tampax to the Antiques Roadshow to ask them what period it was from.
and finally. . .
Pinocchio complains to his father saying “Whenever I attempt to make love to a woman, she complains of splinters.” His father shows pity and gives Pinocchio a piece of sandpaper to sand his knob down whenever he needs to. A few days later during dinner his father asks, “How are the girls?”
Pinocchio replies, “Girls? Who needs girls?”
Kids these days, they’ll nick anything.
What's the first sign of madness?
Suggs walking up your garden path.
Morris dancing!
Ring any bells.
Hear about the bloke who was sacked from the M&Ms sweetie factory.
He kept throwing away all the Ws.
What did Geronimo shout when he jumped out of the aeroplane?
Meeeeeee!
A female dwarf goes to the doctor complaining of a sore f*nny.
The doctor gets some scissors out and snips around a bit.
The dwarf says, 'That feels a lot better, I didn't feel a thing. What have you done?'
Doctors says, 'I've trimmed the top off your wellies.'
I was in Tesco's yesterday and a woman collapsed and died in front of me!
I felt so sorry for her as she'd just bought a bag for life!
I once took a used Tampax to the Antiques Roadshow to ask them what period it was from.
and finally. . .
Pinocchio complains to his father saying “Whenever I attempt to make love to a woman, she complains of splinters.” His father shows pity and gives Pinocchio a piece of sandpaper to sand his knob down whenever he needs to. A few days later during dinner his father asks, “How are the girls?”
Pinocchio replies, “Girls? Who needs girls?”
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