ChatterBank0 min ago
In Love With My Girl Best Friend
24 Answers
This is going to be quite lengthy so I would be grateful if you would take the time to read this and leave me some advice:
I am a 16 year old boy. I'm fairly emotional and a little overweight. I'm by no means popular but my bestest friend ever is the most beautiful girl in the world. We're really close and I spend a lot of time with her. She's funny confident and absolutely stunning.
Our close friendship over the past years has led me to develop feelings for her. There's not a minute that goes by when I don't think about her, literally. I look on her Facebook, Twitter and Instagram profile like every hour just to see what she's up to and most of the time nothing's changed from the last time I looked. This has become an automatic check I do everyday on my phone and it's quite worrying because I start to search her username in these apps without even realising.
For her 16th birthday I recently bought her a £95 Tiffany necklace, some bath bombs and an iTunes vouched as well as Chanel glasses, Dior perfume and a meal at a posh Italian restaurant. She was very grateful and she always thanks me saying 'you're so nice' and 'love ya'.
So in some ways our relationship is great, but it desperately want to kiss her, hug her and tell her how much I love her. The problem is she is very hot and tends to sleep with a lot of good looking guys at party's and stuff which makes me feel so depressed and down. This happened recently and I was tweeting sad faces. She messaged me numerous times asking what was wrong but I just can't tell her how I feel because I don't want to ruin our friendship but then again i don't know how much longer I can cope without telling her..
I am so grateful that for someone as amazing as her she makes a lot of effort with me to talk and spend time with but I know that I am way out of her league to have a relationship with.
I'd be so thankful if anyone could give me some advice or thoughts.
Thanks
I am a 16 year old boy. I'm fairly emotional and a little overweight. I'm by no means popular but my bestest friend ever is the most beautiful girl in the world. We're really close and I spend a lot of time with her. She's funny confident and absolutely stunning.
Our close friendship over the past years has led me to develop feelings for her. There's not a minute that goes by when I don't think about her, literally. I look on her Facebook, Twitter and Instagram profile like every hour just to see what she's up to and most of the time nothing's changed from the last time I looked. This has become an automatic check I do everyday on my phone and it's quite worrying because I start to search her username in these apps without even realising.
For her 16th birthday I recently bought her a £95 Tiffany necklace, some bath bombs and an iTunes vouched as well as Chanel glasses, Dior perfume and a meal at a posh Italian restaurant. She was very grateful and she always thanks me saying 'you're so nice' and 'love ya'.
So in some ways our relationship is great, but it desperately want to kiss her, hug her and tell her how much I love her. The problem is she is very hot and tends to sleep with a lot of good looking guys at party's and stuff which makes me feel so depressed and down. This happened recently and I was tweeting sad faces. She messaged me numerous times asking what was wrong but I just can't tell her how I feel because I don't want to ruin our friendship but then again i don't know how much longer I can cope without telling her..
I am so grateful that for someone as amazing as her she makes a lot of effort with me to talk and spend time with but I know that I am way out of her league to have a relationship with.
I'd be so thankful if anyone could give me some advice or thoughts.
Thanks
Answers
I'm 15 and if I were you I would be a bit more strategic than you are being. It's obvious you're starting to obsess about her a little so you need to cool that down a little bit. Limit checking your facebook, twitter etc to twice per day and don't search her. Make that a rule. Secondly find things to do which don't involve her, even if they are solo things or better...
22:57 Sun 04th Aug 2013
If you feel you are out of her league and you are happy to standby while she goes off with other men, then continue as you are.
If you want to kiss her and move your relationship forward you will have to come clean about your feelings.
This runs risk of losing her as a friend but if you are wasting your time may be better to move on sooner rather than later.
If you want to kiss her and move your relationship forward you will have to come clean about your feelings.
This runs risk of losing her as a friend but if you are wasting your time may be better to move on sooner rather than later.
Realistically, if you have been her friend for this long, and she's been going out with other people, you are probably going to end up hurt. But -- do tell her how you feel. I doubt it will lead to what you want, but you never know. And if she's any kind of friend worth keeping, it wouldn't ruin your friendship beyond a couple of days or weeks of awkwardness.
It's up to you, but if you do say something to her about how you feel and she turns you down, at least you will know. That won't make it any easier, but it will hurt less. It will haunt you for a long time if you never say anything.
It's up to you, but if you do say something to her about how you feel and she turns you down, at least you will know. That won't make it any easier, but it will hurt less. It will haunt you for a long time if you never say anything.
I'm 15 and if I were you I would be a bit more strategic than you are being. It's obvious you're starting to obsess about her a little so you need to cool that down a little bit. Limit checking your facebook, twitter etc to twice per day and don't search her. Make that a rule. Secondly find things to do which don't involve her, even if they are solo things or better still join clubs where she isn't going to be rpesent. After a few weeks re-evaluate how you feel, so you haven't just wound yourself up into a crush on someone, which is easy to do.
I have someone I am interested in who I also consider out of my league at the moment for other reasons, I'm very clinical about it and I have a 3 year plan about it without it becoming the centre of my world.If it happens great, if it doesn't, there are other things to be doing. I don't think your weight will matter if she likes you as a potential boyfriend but Jim is right, she's been your platonic friend for a while, maybe she would have taken it forward if she was interested, but if she's a party girl maybe she just doesn't want a boyfriend full stop. Anyone. Not just you. I think if you give yourself space and time things will mellow out as they are supposed to, don't rush anything and don't be crushed if she isn't interested at this point. All things are potentially changeable in time, and there are always other people as well.xx
I have someone I am interested in who I also consider out of my league at the moment for other reasons, I'm very clinical about it and I have a 3 year plan about it without it becoming the centre of my world.If it happens great, if it doesn't, there are other things to be doing. I don't think your weight will matter if she likes you as a potential boyfriend but Jim is right, she's been your platonic friend for a while, maybe she would have taken it forward if she was interested, but if she's a party girl maybe she just doesn't want a boyfriend full stop. Anyone. Not just you. I think if you give yourself space and time things will mellow out as they are supposed to, don't rush anything and don't be crushed if she isn't interested at this point. All things are potentially changeable in time, and there are always other people as well.xx
You need to decide which way to go. Your present behaviour is verging on being unhealthy. If she is such a good friend, ask her how she feels about you, and could she ever see the relationship going further than just friends. Do your best to loose some weight.
Honestly, as others have said, if she's sleeping around at 16, I can't see much hope for her and will no doubt break your heart eventually.
You obviously do not have much confidence, try to see yourself in a different light. Your looks do matter when you are young, but no where near as much as you seem to think. It is the attitude that counts. When you're happy with yourself, you will emit a more positive presentation and will attract a more realistic girl.
Honestly, as others have said, if she's sleeping around at 16, I can't see much hope for her and will no doubt break your heart eventually.
You obviously do not have much confidence, try to see yourself in a different light. Your looks do matter when you are young, but no where near as much as you seem to think. It is the attitude that counts. When you're happy with yourself, you will emit a more positive presentation and will attract a more realistic girl.
She is using you (and the other guys). If she was interested in you she would not sleep with others, so she isn't. You have your uses, but not in the way you would like. Easier said than done, but she is not right for you and you need to stop loving her. Your head will be all over the place, but remember, many other have been through this. This isn't going to end happy for you because she is the wrong girl, but you will eventually find the right one.
Good luck my friend, the near future isn't going to be easy.
Good luck my friend, the near future isn't going to be easy.
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Speaking as an an oldie I can tell you , you can't buy friends and you definately can't buy love. In fact the the more you try the less chance you stand. People who try to buy friendship or more are frequently looked down on. They are never admired or respected.
She is well aware of your feelings , it is not something you can hide. The bottom line is she is not interested and if you tell her or try any harder she will walk away. At the moment it may suit her to string you along but the moment the freebees stop she will drop you.
You say // in some ways our relationship is great// ! Is it really ? She obviously doesn't think so. .
You should certainly lose weight , that can be a major obstacle. but it's probably far too late with this girl. Sorry for being blunt but I'm afraid that's life. Good luck for the future.
She is well aware of your feelings , it is not something you can hide. The bottom line is she is not interested and if you tell her or try any harder she will walk away. At the moment it may suit her to string you along but the moment the freebees stop she will drop you.
You say // in some ways our relationship is great// ! Is it really ? She obviously doesn't think so. .
You should certainly lose weight , that can be a major obstacle. but it's probably far too late with this girl. Sorry for being blunt but I'm afraid that's life. Good luck for the future.
In fairness to her this girl has done nothing wrong. She is his platonic friend, she's nice to him,shows concern when she sees that he's unhappy but she goes to parties and sleeps with who she wishes to. That's her business, she really hasn't done anything wrong, some people view sex as a recreational thing not necessarily tied into a relationship, she's obviously one of them. To me she actually sounds a very nice girl.
Sharingan //In fairness to her this girl has done nothing wrong. She is his platonic friend, she's nice to him,shows concern when she sees that he's unhappy //
You are right up to a point but on her birthday it appears she took a lot of money £150/200 from a lovestruck 16 year old boy who sounds vulnerable. //She was very grateful and she always thanks me saying 'you're so nice' and 'love ya'.// Note //she always thanks me // so that wasn't a one off. I'm not surprised she messaged him several times .. But if she was that concerned knowing how he felt, why not ring him up .
You are right up to a point but on her birthday it appears she took a lot of money £150/200 from a lovestruck 16 year old boy who sounds vulnerable. //She was very grateful and she always thanks me saying 'you're so nice' and 'love ya'.// Note //she always thanks me // so that wasn't a one off. I'm not surprised she messaged him several times .. But if she was that concerned knowing how he felt, why not ring him up .
Okay I can see your point of view regarding the birthday presents but we don't know what she buys him in return for his birthday and it is somewhat churlish to refuse gifts that people hve invested their time in choosing.I would feel awkward doing that, and if they both have an equal amount of money then £150 really isn't that much for a birthday present, I've spent similar on my friends sometimes, I don't think she necessarily has an ulterior motive. The thing is I just don't know either of these people, so always prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt if possible:)
This is tricky but I do know how you feel. She is young and flirty and enjoying her youth and beauty. If she's not careful she'll get pregnant with some loser, but that's her issue. You have low self-esteem at the moment and you need to raise that, so you can think about yourself rather than thinking about her. I'm sure she knows that you fancy her, and is flattered. BUT she would still rather sleep with these 'good-looking' guys. If I were you, I would be her friend, but try and get things in perspective. If you started going to the gym for example, you would lose weight and feel better about yourself. Who knows, you may attract a girl and start to date someone else. If you did this, it would also get this girl to realise her feelings- does she actually fancy you or will you only ever be friends? Think about yourself for now, get fit, get positive and get out there.
There is a golden rule with platonic friends - you never ever cross the line and tell them of romantic feelings. It's a bell you can't un-ring, and you will lose your friendship completely.
If this girl has noticed your feelings, and probably has - and not returned them, then she is unlikely to do so in the near future.
You need to think seriously whether or not this friendship is worth the hurt it is causing you, or whether your time would be better spent looking for a girl who is going to return the love and affection you have to give.
I know this is very hard for you, but if it is causing you so much pain, then I would consider putting my efforts into areas with other friends, your attraction to this girl is causing you too much anguish for you to carry on as you are.
If this girl has noticed your feelings, and probably has - and not returned them, then she is unlikely to do so in the near future.
You need to think seriously whether or not this friendship is worth the hurt it is causing you, or whether your time would be better spent looking for a girl who is going to return the love and affection you have to give.
I know this is very hard for you, but if it is causing you so much pain, then I would consider putting my efforts into areas with other friends, your attraction to this girl is causing you too much anguish for you to carry on as you are.
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