I Tried

[marval]

I tried to get on the London Eye today but it was not working, it was on the blink.

I was grateful when the judge sent me down. I sleep easier on a softer pillow.

I asked my mum what she had bought me for my birthday. She said, “I have bought you an Apple Mac.” Most people would be over the moon with hearing this, I am not because my name is Mac.

I ordered some food in the pub last night, the barmaid said, “What table is it?” I replied, “Oak I think.”

They say that all roads lead to Rome. Imagine my disappointment when I tried to take a shortcut on the M25.

The vet’s amputation ward went into lockdown yesterday. The entire wing was cut off.

My friend keeps boasting that he can ride his bike in reverse. When I asked him to prove it, he started back-pedaling.

I was literally terrified last night. I was mugged by someone with a book.

My brother used to be a gangsta rapper. He once covered Ronnie Kray in cling film.

My partner says he will leave me if I don’t do something about my Elvis obsession. It’s now or never.

[retrocop]

Some good ones there to pass on. Thanks. :-)

[marval]

Glad you liked them Retro

[Patsy33]

Good ones! Lol...