I Want To Contact An Acquaintance That I Haven't Spoken To In A Few Years But I Don't Want To Make It Weird, Should I Just Let It Go?

[ClaireWilkes]

So, I used to be friends with this guy in high school and I've been trying to reestablish contact with people who I have considered friends over the years but have since then lost contact with. I've been able to find many of them on social media but I can't seem to find his. I do, however, have his phone number. I have given this some thought and figured I might call or text him and see how he's doing and if it's even still his number but I don't know if I should. We didn't know each other for a super long time so I feel like it'd be weird if he didn't even remember me and I don't want to come across as creepy or anything like that. I might just be overthinking this but I'd really appreciate some ideas or advice. There are other details to be considered as well but this is already super long so I figured if necessary, I'll clarify later.

[dannyk13]

What is your reason for wanting to contact him?

[Chinajan]

You're overthinking.

[douglas9401]

I'd think super long and hard about doing anything.

[TrevorThePug]

Sounds awfully like a one night stand with the inevitable outcome 9 months later.

I doubt it’s his number or that he gave you his correct name.

Either that or you are over thinking it. Text the number and say you have it in your contacts but not sure who it is.

[ClaireWilkes]

dannyk13, I want to contact him because I have missed his company for a while now.

[dannyk13]

Claire//I want to contact him because I have missed his company for a while now.//
Then stop wavering and just call him,

[shoota]

Send a message to all your contacts saying 'Happy Thanksgiving' (or whatever) and see if there is a reaction.

[ClaireWilkes]

douglas9401, I have been doing that and I finally came to the conclusion that I should ask for some advice and try to see it from another point of view.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Send a text 'Hi (insert name) remember me? (insert your name with a smiley) Just trying to touch base with old friends, you know how it is, strange times at the moment. How are you doing?

Then leave it there. If it's the wrong number, they may text back to tell you that they may not
If he doesn't want to get back in contact, he won't reply
If he wants to get in contact, he will reply

Its a no brainer really -just do it- you have nothing to lose.

[ClaireWilkes]

TrevorThePug, I am not reaching out with that intention and I do know that he gave me his correct name. As for the phone number, I believe it at least was his correct number. I like your suggestion though, thank you.

[Chinajan]

Do let us know the outcome. I'm super invested.

[MallyJ]

I am of the opinion that if a friendship has lapsed for over a year and , for example, christmas and birthday cards have not been exchanged nor has there been any contact via facebook or other social media then really that friendship has run it's course. People stay in touch with each other if they see them regularly or keep in contact regularly...and that could mean twice a year not every week. You have not said how long it is since you and this chap met up...but maybe he has married, had a child, been imprisoned for murder...who knows? Leave him be would be my advice

[AuntPollyGrey]

Mally I don't agree. I lost touch with friends when everyone disappeared to various Universities in the late 1970's. Through social media, and before that, Friends Reunited, I'm now back in touch with friends I haven't seem for over 40 years. You can rekindle friendships.

[ClaireWilkes]

MallyJ, that really is the easiest option and ordinarily the sort of thing I would do. I am not the boldest person out there and I usually expect others to take charge and initiate conversations or visits because I wouldn't want to make them talk to me if they didn't want to but I've come to realize that if I want to keep any of my friends I'm going to have to start reaching out first because I can't always expect them to do so when I don't myself. We have not kept in contact through social media because at the time I had none and we really just visited in person.

[MallyJ]

There you go ClaireWilkes .... you have answered your own question...you make the first move in this instant and i really do hope all goes well.
Aunt Polly Grey - each to their own but I am of the opinion that if you haven't been in contact for 40 years then why suddenly after that time...or do people get bored and hanker for part of their youth? I stayed in touch with a few people for a while after leaving college but it all stopped when people's real lives tookover.

[Bobbisox1]

Maybe he's in a relationship now but that's no reason why he can't have female friends either, good luck whatever you do

[AuntPollyGrey]

Mally //Aunt Polly Grey - each to their own but I am of the opinion that if you haven't been in contact for 40 years then why suddenly after that time...or do people get bored and hanker for part of their youth?//

people get married have lives, children and remember there was no FB to keep in touch. Then at a certain age, when you are perhaps less busy, children away at Uni and you are retired, it's nice to look up old friends and reconnect. You certainly have lots to talk about.

[AuntPollyGrey]

Bobbi: oooo! this is going to be controversial, but I honestly believe heterosexual men do not have women 'friends'. They have 'possibilities' or ' a spare'. :-)

[Bobbisox1]

Haha, right answer Aunt Polly :0))))

[Peter Pedant]

// other social media then really that friendship has run it's course....//

I agree. I have a super long memory and can enumerate who was in my class at age 7. When they come up in the news - you know child molesting or fraud or immigration slavery, I contact them - and the vast majority say - "yes I was at that school but have no memory of it. you have my brothers name right and right about my father but I have no memory of you or the class but I know I was there".

and I think - - oh that is why you didnt keep in touch.

The earliest that happened was age 25 talking about school age 13.
Jesus.

Leave it - its gone and cannot be recalled