News0 min ago
Covid - Fast Forward To 2031...
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.........in a statement today, the Prime Minsiter, Sir Marcus Rashford, MBE, of the BLM Party, said that tier 25 of the lockdown had clearly failed to work, although he fanked evrywun for digging in and giving it a go.
He said the 20 hour curfew and house arrest policies had been a complete failure and Covid now posed a grave risk to the remaining one million people of the population who haven't yet been infected.
In order to protect the remainder of the population, although the curfew and house arrest actions had failed, he was now going to introduce tier 26. This would involve all of the population being issued with ankle chains. However, not all of the chains will be of the same length, as we need to protect key workers. With this is in mind, the ankle chains for key workers will be 12" longer than those for everyone else, in order to ensure greater mobility.
The ankle chains will be placed on people by members of the BLM party, who, I'm sure, will find some kind of irony in their efforts to further prevent the spread of the virus.
In the meantime, the PM said that intensive research is continuing at The Marcus Rashford Medical University in order to create a vaccine that can actually hit the back of the net and not keep hitting the post or the corner flag.
He closed by fanking evrywun for their fantastic support, as he rose from his knee.
He said the 20 hour curfew and house arrest policies had been a complete failure and Covid now posed a grave risk to the remaining one million people of the population who haven't yet been infected.
In order to protect the remainder of the population, although the curfew and house arrest actions had failed, he was now going to introduce tier 26. This would involve all of the population being issued with ankle chains. However, not all of the chains will be of the same length, as we need to protect key workers. With this is in mind, the ankle chains for key workers will be 12" longer than those for everyone else, in order to ensure greater mobility.
The ankle chains will be placed on people by members of the BLM party, who, I'm sure, will find some kind of irony in their efforts to further prevent the spread of the virus.
In the meantime, the PM said that intensive research is continuing at The Marcus Rashford Medical University in order to create a vaccine that can actually hit the back of the net and not keep hitting the post or the corner flag.
He closed by fanking evrywun for their fantastic support, as he rose from his knee.
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I'm glad you think it's all a joke. Meanwhile we are full of patients fighting for their lives on ventilators, the economy is buckling, people are losing their jobs and their livelihoods and cannot afford to pay their bills, elderly and vulnerable people are suffering are battling with loneliness and solitude, kids are missing out on their education and alcohol and domestic violence is spiralling.
Still, there are some good films on TV tonight eh?
Still, there are some good films on TV tonight eh?
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