Adoption And Abuse

[jamalshorter]

I need to know if my adopted mother adopted us for the money. Both me and my brother were adopted as babies. And my adopted mother was receiving an adoption check of $500 each from me and my brother($1000 total). My mother wasn’t working and was afraid of me running into the risk of getting the adoption check cut off. And because of that, she told my brother and I not to work until we were 20 years old. When I was 17 1/2, she received a letter stating that my money will cut off on my 18th birthday. She then screamed at me to get a job. I told her I would find one working fast food since I didn’t have experience at the age 17. But she kept screaming at me to get a job paying more than minimum wage. She then received a letter saying that they’ll extend my adoption check until I turned 21 since I was labeled disabled for seeing therapy. They also gave her an increase of $1000 for each of us($2000 total). In my teenage years, she refused to teach me how to drive so she could keep me in the house to continue getting the check from us. She waited until I was 21 to teach me to drive and when the check cut off that year, that was when she applied and got approved for SSI, not SSDI. She allowed my brother to become a bully and violent in the house telling me that she needs his adoption check until she gets her SSI. And when I applied for SSI at the age 19, took half of my back pay, telling me that that’s the money she gets for putting up with me, knowing that I wasn’t working. Does it sound like my mother adopted us for the money?? 

[douglas9401]

I think we need more 'information'

[jno]

could be, but so what? You are where you are. You've presumably been fed and sheltered, and now you're old enough to vote. Time to start making your own life

[Peter Pedant]

we cant say - no one here knows about adoption in American state jurisdiction and  what  the financial deal is if anything.

This doesnt occur in the land ruled by King Charles

[bednobs]

yes it does.

How do you know PP what everyone's knowledge of american adoption is?

[Old_Geezer]

I agree with jno. The past is past. Live in the present but make sufficient plans for your future goals.

[pastafreak]

I'd certainly hope that adoption is about more than being fed and sheltered. Surely the desire to love, care for, raise a healthy and happy human comes into it? Not to get money...it must be ghastly to see your adoptive parents in that light. It's bad enough to hear of foster parents who've done it for the money.

I don't see putting it in the past as easily done. 

Certainly learn from it when and if you have your own children.

[Peter Pedant]

OK bednobs tell us, state by state....

[calmck]

I adopted my daughter from a Catholic run orphanage when she was two days old. I have never received any money from the state. I understand that some foster/adoptions in the US do entitle the adoptive parent to state benefits but I would hope that this is not the main reason. From your post it does read that your mother depends on the benefits she receives for you. I think that you should consult social services and have them advise you. You could possibly be entitled to some assistance yourself if you are disabled in any way

[calmck]

I cannot, nor could most people unless they know her, tell you the reason why your mother adopted you