Why Might This Be Happening To Me?

[abbeylee90]

Why is my life like this years single, still at home and not in a full time job.Since my ex just before covid I've been on dates bit no success first guy is my fault as I didn't make any effort I'm forever beating myself up. I meant go be meeting someone Saturday but don't think I like him. Also need a full time job I can settle in I shouldn't be at home at my age.

[barry1010]

Lots of people are still living with their parents at your age, Abbey, you are not odd for doing so.

Keep an open mind about Saturday's date but never treat a first date as a possible husband, just go for the fun of meeting someone new and see how it goes.  

As for your job, just keep plugging away.  Try holding out for a full time job that appeals to you.  You are still young with a lot of living yet to do.  

[newmodarmy]

I'll join in properly perhaps when this starts to flag after the first 100 responses, but for now I'd say-

- discuss it all openly, no more lies/not telling things- with your parents

-get your doctor's appointment for depression, mental health, dyspraxia and ASD

- make the most of your counselling.

I know the Eds like the hight raffic but I'm not sure asking for advice on these interconnected complex issues is going to help if you usually seem to ignore it or seem unable to process it

[abbeylee90]

Thanks Barry do I get meds for depression?

[youngmafbog]

Sounds like you need to sit down and have a real good think about where you want to be and then how to achieve it.

There is no point going out with someone if you dont think you will like them, you are wasting both yours and his time. Work out what you want in a man (everyone is different) but be realistic. Write it down in order of your preference then tick it off in you mind when you meet someone.  And for Gawds sake dont get the list out in front of them!

Then do the same for a job, again being a realist.  Set youself achievable goals so you feel better about yourself.

Do you not have someone you can talk to this about?  I had to sit down with one of my daughters when she was around 30, now at 38 she has a husband two kids and a job (in Care).

It can be done, but just willing it wont make it happen you have to be proactive.

[MargoTester]

Only your doctor can advis e on that 

[MargoTester]

^ 16.28

[abbeylee90]

Young was she single with no jobs or kids?

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, if only you'd tackled the job problem years ago - it's sad that you're now in your current position. Did you never sit down - during your years of zero hours contracts, for example - and think, 'Stuff this, I'd like a real job now. I'd like to do...' and then work towards getting the skills and/or qualifications needed? And one thing feeds into another - while you're in footery part time-jobs, paying very little, you're not going to feel happy or satisfied... so not the ideal situation for meeting a guy (which seems very important to you). The counselling might, should help, but I think you yourself will have to engage in life a lot more!

[Moorea7]

Abbey, how do you know you won't like your Saturday date - you've never met him!  If you don't like the sound of him, then don't go - simple!  As for being at home, you seem to have things easy there!  

[abbeylee90]

Never yes I have and never worked out. Hopefully it does.

Moore just look quite scrawny for me.

[MargoTester]

Abbey do you just judge me n by the way they look

[abbeylee90]

Maybe I shouldn't but worried I Look quite abit older than him 

[MargoTester]

Well ask how old he is then

[abbeylee90]

Thought my life was falling into place last month until that guy changed his mind.

[abbeylee90]

He 28

[MargoTester]

Not that much younger then

[abbeylee90]

No preferd other one though 

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, nice though last month's guy was, you feeling that your life was 'falling into place' after just one date is... not really a good thing! And part of the fun of new relationships is getting to know the person, but you seem to have a little air of desperation about you (for months now you''ve been talking of 'when I get a guy' and 'when I'm in a relationship'.) It's scare me off!

[abbeylee90]

Neva I was lucky to get a date not something I often get I just liked and was upset that not going on anymore. Yes I need to turn my life around that partly I'm avoiding socialising with the man from dogs home to concentrate on actually getting someone my own age.

[Neveracrossword]

Thanks, Abbey. 'Concentrating on getting someone my own age' sounds.. a bit needy! Sometimes relationships happen out of nowhere, chance meetings, whatever. You're hoping, desperately it seems, that you will meet The One through one of your dating sites, apps.