How to bit depression caused by living in a bedsit?

[Curitiba]

Hi, like many I live in a bedsit (i.e. I rent a bedroom in a house full of people). I'm going a bit nuts in this situation as I have no family or friends around.

I'm dating someone that doesn't treat me well and I think that deep down I might still be with him because I have no-one else to give me company.

I don't want to waste my life and I don't know what to do.

[daftpixie]

Hey Curitiba, sounds like you need to get out of the bedsit and involved in something positive. Do you like sports? There are loads of community health centres that have exercise groups or sports activities, its a great way to meet people. Or there are book groups, sewing circles, Salsa dancing classes etc

Have you got a community centre near you? If so go and have a look on the notice board to see what is going on. Chances are if you find a group your interested in you will meet like minded people and make some new friends. That way, you may get a new perspective if your busy and feeling better about yourself, that you might find it easier to judge how you feel about the man you are dating.

Hope this helps x

[katzwhiskaz]

Hi Curitiba.

First of all if i were you i would get rid of the man you are dating believe me if they treat you bad at the start of a relationship it will get worse. Then you need to look for another bedsit in a quieter house. I promise you, that if you do this life will be so much better for you. You dont need that man for company, enjoy being on your own for a while. I wish you luck pet xxx

[SurreyGuy]

Hi Curitiba

Firstly, if the guy doesn't treat you well, then DITCH HIM! There are lots of nice guys out there - I'M one of 'em! :o) It's better to be on your own for the RIGHT reasons than to be/stay with someone for the WRONG ones!

Secondly, it's easy for people to say, "go to a local community group", "join a club", "get out more". whilst that Is good advice (and I'm certainly NOT having a go at the people who say those things), if you're shy and not very confident, then following their advice isn't at all easy - I know!

With regards to your bedsit prob, I've never been in that position, so I won't ignorantly offer you advice.

Whereabouts in the UK are you?

Good luck.

[katzwhiskaz]

Hi again.

Surreyguy sounds nice curitiba. Maybe you two should meet up.

[wilsonator]

Quit the self pity drug and stop listening to the Levellers.

Get out there and have some fun and NEVER let anyone treat you bad, its your fault if you dont do something about it.

Nobody has to be lonely its a state of mind!

[bobdeb]

I know how you feel. I lived in a bed sit last year for 6 months, it was worse in the summer, coming home from work, and staying in a stuffy room cos there wasnt even a garden to sit in, i got really really depressed, i was going through a divorce at the time. i now live with a guy in the countryside, love him to bits but still have no friends or family around me - very wary of the neighbours as we live in the village where he was brought up and married for 20 years, and his ex wife visits the neighbours everyday!!! I feel so trapped!!!!!

[bloaterbum]

It does not have to be a bed-sit to get you down.I won't harp on about salsa clubs etc cus that will not help.Walking be it alone or in groups has been proved benefitial to the soul .getb that **** out of your life .i did that stuff for three years and it got worse as the days passed.She left me in the end and thhat was a blessing in disguise

[avis50]

Tell the person you are dating that you have a right to be treated well, and if he isn't going to do that then you will dump him. Only say it once - no second chances!

Go to your public library and ask their advice about things happening in your area that will interest you. Do you have a camera - is there a photo club? Do you like the theatre - is there an amateur theatrical group? What about politics? Also ask them about local voluntary groups who would welcome someone with time on their hands. Also ask them about study courses.

Unless you live in a dangerous area, get out of the house on these nice summer evenings and go for a walk. Find out if there are any branches of the Ramblers Association near you which organise walks at the weekend - a great way to meet people.

What about that "house full of people" you are living in? Maybe if you got to know them better you might like them. If they are awful maybe you should move on.

And yes, I do know that all of the above takes courage and effort and none of it is easy if you are depressed and/or shy. But do something. Anything is better than sitting doing nothing. And however hard it is to do it, think how proud you will be of yourself afterwards!

Good luck.

[Curitiba]

Hi, me again.

I just want to thank all your answers.

I have been going to work walking (and thinking a lot!), and yes, it has made me feel better.

I really want feel in love again and I know that the right person will come in time.

I have started making plans to travel to visit some friends.

SurreyGuy, I come from the East Anglia, not too far! x

[SurreyGuy]

curitiba - unfortunately, East Anglia IS too far :o(

I wish you luck - ditch the loser!