online boyf

[boobearry13]

My friend introduced me to this really sweet 14 year old. I am 13, and this is one of her best friends. He lives in the same town as I do, and actually, only two blocks away from my house. Now, his name is Andy and I have learned ALOT about him. He wants to rush into sex right away. What do I do, Im still a virgin, and was not planning on having sex until I was married. Please Help!

[football]

Tell him you want to wait to have sex until you are married. Talk to him, just keep it on a social level (plutonic) relationship & encourage him to find a girlfriend who also wants sex. Still be a person he can confide in as a best mate. Don't be used; Be a friend for him always.

[OnlyMe]

You don't have to say you want to wait until you are married unless you want to, but you could certainly tell him that you (and he) are not ready; for what it's worth, you could also tell him that it's against the law. Incidentally, football refers to a platonic (not plutonic) friendship, which is maybe not what you want. A platonic friendship just means you are friends, not boyfriend/girlfriend. You can still be his girlfriend, date him, kiss him, etc, without having to have sex. Tell him that if he cares for you, or even loves you, then he will understand and respect that, but please don't let him blackmail or pressure you into doing something you don't want to do or will regret. You'll need to be strong and true to yourself, but it will be worth it.

[5029]

Have you met him in real life, or just spoken to him online? If you have never met him, then you should be careful as you could be talking to someone impersonating a 14 year old to gain your trust

[Lennon]

Hi ya. First of all, like 5029 says, make sure you know who he is etc as the internet can be a great place for people who are liars. Secondly, regarding the whole sex thing - please wait! He's a guy with peer pressure from his mates to say that he's 'done the deed'. I was a virgin till I was 17 - at school 2 of the girls in my year were pregnant whilst doing their GCSEs and all my friends said they envied me for still being a virgin. Remember, that your virginity is something only *you* decide who to give to, and that makes that person special. I felt good about myself the fact that I could have slept with guys before I did, if I wanted to, but only I chose who and when. I'm only 21. and I don't mean to be patronising, but you are only 13 and you have a lot of time to find someone to be with for your first time, and when you meet someone special, you'll regret you gave it away so early. Stick to your guns girl! :)

[banana]

How creepy is this guy? It isnt normal to declare your wish for sex at the beginning of a relationship. How well do you know 'Andy'? How contactable is he?I mean , can you call/text/email him and he is there all of the time - or does he make you wait? Do YOU wait for him to contact you? I would be very suspicious of 'Andy' - even though you have been 'introduced' by a friend. How well does SHE know him? Why are you worried enough to ask on this board? Once you have answered these questions honestly then you may be in some position to think about what to do next.

[gazzawazza]

Please listen to the answers already given. He wants to rush into sex right away... You should make your own mind up as to when you lose your virginity and should never feel pressured into giving in just because you feel you should.

[AB Editor]

boobearry13 - First up, it is illegal for anyone of your age to have sex. No-one can or should tell you it's OK to have sex until you're 16. And there are good reasons why the law says you shouldn't have sex until you're old enough!

The Internet can be a great place to ask questions and stay anonymous. It means you don't have to get embarrassed to ask for help or advice. Everyone who has answered has made really good points. BUT none of us really know you or your circumstances.

It may be harder than posting questions here but you really should talk to someone in person. Don't be shy about asking a teacher who you trust. She or he may have been through the same thing when they were your age! The chances are, they will encourage you to say no to Andy and stick to what you want to do - which is wait. Good luck.

[Miss Zippy]

If he's that sweet, why haven't you met him, considering he's a friend of your friend and he only lives round the corner? Wise up! You come across as a smart girl, either he's just a lad after what he can get or there's something more sinister going on as has already been pointed out. I know it's all so exciting and flattering at your age (I can just about remember!) and you can't wait to be seen as an adult, but there's nothing big and clever about underage sex. Pregnancy is the obvious undesirable (at your age) consequence, but don't forget all the nasty diseases you can catch. Lecture over, now save yourself for someone who deserves you!

[CARROT]

Hon My advice to you is wait till you are married. Im a devoted christian and the bible tells you to save sex for marriage. 13 is way to young to be having sex anyway. I lost my virginity at 21 and wish now that I had saved myself for marriage.(yes I back slid but Im now right with God again and the next man who touches me will be my husband on my wedding night) Dont do something you will regret later!!