Loch Ness Monster

[spudmuffa]

I was quite alarmed at a recent report by a top biologist that the Loch Ness Monster is not a ferocious, pre-historic reptile, but merely , nothing more than a harmless elephant which escaped from Edinburgh Zoo in 1925. The biologist claims the elephant could have developed flipper-shaped feet and used its trunk as a snorkel, re-surfacing only at night to feed on nearby trees and bushes. Can anybody please confim this?

[heathfield]

It prefers the vegetation from further up the hillsides, which is why the hills are bare. Unfortunately, its diet causes flatulence. For some reason, the locals have named it 'Bubbles'.