Women and husbands' surname.....

[coggles]

Following on from last question, I also wondered what people thought of women taking, or not, their husbands surname once married.

[andy hughes]

It is tradition, and I'm sure most women do it these days, but again it a is a personal comitment. What I do find rather arsey is the notion of double-barelling - as though someon'e surname will die out ... who cares! I have two step-daughters and one 'biological' daughter, so when I snuff it, this branch of the Hughes line comes to an end. Am I bothered? What do you think!

[gazzawazza]

I agree Andy... I have no brothers, no sons but three lovely daughters. This means that my dad's line will end with me. Although this used to cause me a little concern, in the grand scheme of things what does it really matter? In as little as just 100 years no-one will know me or even care that I existed!

[beenee]

I'm not married, but I'd like to think that when I do get married, I'll keep my original surname. I don't have to as I have two brothers who will carry the name on, but I'm very proud of my family's history and all the things they acheived and so would prefer to be associated with them rather than a random person, no matter how much I love him.

[woofgang]

I took my husbands surname when I married. I would like to point out that this is a patrilineal system and the name we get when we are born is not ours but our fathers, so its currently a question of whether you go through life using one man's name or another's. What I don't get is women who divorce, often with great acrimony and yet keep the guy's name....still happily married.....

[coggles]

Although I am very proud of my (maiden) family name too, when my future husband proposed, I new I would be proud and honoured to take his surname. Before anyone thinks I am a subservient woman, he was, and is, proud of me too. We also have two daughters, so his family name will 'die out' on his side (but not his brother, who has a son). The most important thing to us is that if our daughters marry, they will be well-adjusted people who will have happy marriages to men who respect them. Hopefully, as a family, we will make our own history and be remembered for our achievements - whether they be important discoveries or for being a hard-working and genuine person.

[Janetex]

From a matriachal Irish family, I still took my husband's surname after much procrastination. I believe that it is most practial and, recently, had it confirmed whilst minding my niece and nephew. I needed to contact their mother at work, assuming that her name was the same as theirs - it wasn't. Had I been a teacher or whatever, not as familiar, this could have been a real problem.

[coggles]

Woofgang, I suppose one explanation for women to keep their married name after divorce, is if they have children, they may want to all have the same surname and changing the childrens names by deed poll may be too much of an upheaval for some children. Just a thought. Of course the other reason some women may keep their husbands name after divorce is if there husband is very famous and they don't want to lose their association with the famous name...... Cynical, me!!!???

[incitatus]

mrsinci took my name in return for not having to a) obey and b) wear a veil. she ummed and ahhed about it, but when i said she could still use her original name professionally (or rather she said and i agreed) then it was ok. I think that the change of name thing helps to create the idea of a new family allegiance to the created family. but it is a bit one sided. perhaps we should both change names to something new?

[FTVS]

I have changed my name for my bank accounts but not professionally. I had assumed that I would change my name but when actually faced with it i was surprised to feel that I was giving something up: my name was more strongly linked to my self identity than I had supposed. What felt particularly odd was that to me, Mrs MRFTVS is my Mother-in-Law!

[roomby]

I always thought that I wouldn't change my name when I got married. I couldn't imagine being called anything else. But when it came to it, I found that I really wanted to. It felt like the natural thing to do - my husband and I were becoming a family unit and should share the same name. i also thought it would be odd if he and our kids had the same name but mine was different. I think it's most important that you do what feels right for you.