Rosh Hashana comes in tomorrow, (New Year)

[Lonnie]

I'd like to wish all my friends on here a Shana Tova, (Good Year), and I look forward to celebrating yours in January.

[Whickerman]

Shana Tova Lonnie - have a great year.

[society]

Same to you too, Lonnie. That was very nice of you ;-)

[Shadow Man]

Shalom Lonnie. I have wished you happy new year twice today and you have ignored me.

Here is my favourite Jewish joke.

A Jewish doctor falls off his motorbike and whilst lying in some considerable pain is approached by two paramedics.

They say "Doctor are you comfortable?"

He looks up at them and (in his best Jewish voice) says

"I make a living"

[chongalolo]

Everyone is invited to my house for apples and honey! I wish you all a happy, healthy and peaceful New Year.

[Lonnie]

Thanks for your replies guys, your most welcome.

Wardy, an excellent joke, not heard that one before, i've added it to my repertoire.
Also, I did reply to your very thoughtful post in B&S, it was that that brought to mind this post, I normally do this every year, but almost forgot this one.

[Lonnie]

chongalolo,
And the same to you my friend.

[Clanad]

L'Shanah tovah tikatevu vetechatim and all Am Yisrael, Lonnie!...

(You probably have this one...
An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this." She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back! , and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're coming for Passover and paying their own airfares..."

[Romeo]

Shalom, Lonnie!

[johnlambert]

Only just peeped my head round the corner into S&C Lonnie
I would like to add my greetings to this post
Shalom my friend

[theonlyone]

Shalom Lonnie , all best wishes for a good year .

[Pippa68]

Shana Tova, Lonnie ~ have a good celebration :o)

Clanad, that is a fantastic joke!

[Lonnie]

Hi Clanad,
Haven't seen you on for a bit, good to see you, (metaphorically of cours),
Thanks for your greetings, and that joke made me curl up, i'll put my favourite on later.

Almost Sunset here, and We have people coming round, so i'll be off in about thirty mins.

To everyone else,
Thanks very much, you posting on here, means a lot, thanks very much, just time to put a joke of my own on.

[Lonnie]

Hope you like it.

An emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new chief samurai warrior.
> Only three applied for the job:
> a Japanese, a Chinese and a Jewish samurai.
>
> "Demonstrate your skills," commanded the emperor. The Japanese samurai
> stepped forward, opening a tiny box and released
> fly. He drew his sword and, Swish! The fly fell to the floor, neatly
> divided
> in two.
>
> The Chinese samurai smiled, then opened a tiny box, releasing a fly. He
> drew
> his sword. Swish!Swish! The fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
>
> No.3 samurai stepped forward, released the fly, and drew his sword.
> SWOOOOOOOSH! The speed of his sword created a gust of wind. The fly let
> out
> a high-pitched sound, but continued to fly around. "What kind of skill is
> that?" asked the emperor. "The fly isn't even dead."
>
> "Dead, schmead" replied the Jewish samurai. "Dead is easy..... But
> circumcision, that takes skill!"

[lindapinda]

Just saw this post,a bit late,but,Shana Tova Lonnie :-)..Rofl at the joke !!