Bloke's ambition to meet the pope...
This bloke had one ambition in life and that was to meet the Pope. To his amazement, he reads in his local paper that the Pope is to make a 2-day visit to his home town. So off he goes to Burton's and buys himself a new suit, shirt, tie and shoes. On the day of the Pope's visit, he gets up early and goes and gets a good position by the edge of the pavement.
Eventually, the pope's cavalcade approaches down the street. Just when it reaches where this blokes standing, the procession stops. The Pope gets down from the Pope-mobile and walks over to this man. Just as he gets close, he walks passed him to a tramp thats lying down on the pavement behind. The Pope bends down and talks to the tramp. This bloke thinks the Pope's taken pity on the tramp and, being all pious and righteous, wants to help less fortunate members of society.
After the Pope had left, the bloke goes over to the tramp and asked him if he wanted to swap clothes. The tramp jumps at the chance.
The next day the bloke gets up and, unshaven and unwashed, goes down town and lies down at the same spot where the tramp had been the day before and waits for the pope's convoy to appear. When it arrives, it stops at the same place. The pope gets down and walks over to the "tramp" and says:-
"Look, I told you yesterday, pi$$ off!!!!"