A 'lady' in USA

[ladyalex]

Can someone please help me out here ?
Is calling someone a 'lady' in the United States considered pejorative or offensive ?
I ask because an American acquaintance seemed to be quite put out when someone referred to a friend of hers as a 'lady'. I found the word totally innocuous and in fact if anything more polite than referring to her as a 'woman'...
Thanks

[dr b]

The US has many regional idioms, but having lived in many parts of it (east, west, midwest) I can't think of why someone would object to being referred to as "a lady." Was there something in your tone of voice? Did you roll your eyes when you said "lady"?

[ladyalex]

I wasn't the person who said it...in fact it was written in a reference that the friend had provided...something along the lines of 'I have known this lady for a number of years and have always found her to be trustworthy...etc etc' The American really seemed to think that calling her 'this lady' was insulting in some way that I could not work out.
Thank you for your answer, I'm hoping to visit the States later this year and really would not like to offend anyone.

[dr b]

To say "I have known this lady for a number of years" is completely innocuous.

[ladyalex]

Well, maybe I totally misunderstood what was going on....as far as I'm concerned it was completely innocuous too, so thanks for the confirmation. This will remain a mystery....
Thanks for your help.

[Clanad]

It's entirely possible that the American person who objected to the term 'lady" was a member of the radical feminist movement here in the U.S. I've been berated (I live in the western U.S.) for using the term "Ma'am" when a ddressing a member of the fair sex. That's a regional term here in the West but always known as a term of defference and respect.
The radical feminist would have every reference to differences in sex eliminated. "Person-hood" is their accepted term. To which I'm likely to respond in the same manner as I witnessed many years ago as a child.
I had the opportunity to accompany a train load of cattle, part of which had been produced by our family ranch, on it's marketing trip to Omaha, Nebraska. (at that time the reigons center of cattle marketing). I was able to achieve a ranch kids dream of going to the "big city". The ranch foreman was "Old Gus" (I never did know his real name). On arrival, we checked into the Radisson Hotel... finest place west of Chicago. It was at least ten stories tall and had an elevator.
On the ride up with Gus a most profound 'one act play' took place. On the elevator's second stop, two young women entered. Standing behind Gus, I noticed he took of his ever present Stetson hat. The women were talking as they came on, and they both became engaged in a conversation laced with profanity. Gus didn't say anything, but, almost unnoticeably (except to me) he put his hat back on. Obviously his statment that he recognized he was not in the presence of ladies. Never forgot that incident...

[ladyalex]

Thank you Clanad....it's certainly a possible explanation.
Good for Old Gus...I totally approve of his action!
So, generally, I will not be offending anyone, except perhaps some people that I don't care about offending , if I use the word 'lady'. That has put my mind at rest.
Thanks again, ladyalex :-))

[heathfield]

Bag-lady?

[ladyalex]

Well, that's a thought, Heathfield..maybe I'll just steer clear of any feminine noun...
Thanks, ladyalex

[fredpuli47]

Just be careful you don't address a female dog as ' a bitch' LOL. I did that when walking one of mine in Cambridge (UK not Mass.) and caused some concern to an American mother with a young daughter. Yelling " Behave, you stupid bitch!" at the misbehaving hound, besides not being out of the dog whisperer manual, prompted an aghast look before the lady realised and said, in a relieved tone, 'Ah, you meant the dog!"

[ladyalex]

Thanks, Fredpuli...I'll bear that in mind.
Sounds as though it could be a minefield...perhaps I'd better keep my mouth tight shut! (Impossible, as lordalex will confirm.)

[cc1]

My 6 year old brought all conversation to a shuddering halt in a busy petrol station when she shouted to her Daddy who was paying, See if they sell rubbers, you've worn this one out!

[ladyalex]

Thanks, cc1...I was aware of that particular word having a completely different meaning in the States, so I will definitely avoid that pitfall!