Charl and Gav....

[Bbbananas]

... split up?
They only announced their engagement 6 weeks ago!!!

Oh what is happening to people who you think would ' make it'? Ronan Keating, Mark Owen, Vernon Kaye - ok, maybe there's no-one else involved in the Char-Gav split, but they've only just had a baby.

Does everyone give in too easily these days without fighting for or working at their marriage? Or am I talking out my elbow cos there might be something I'm not aware of?

[MarkRae]

When did you last speak to either of them...?

[ummmm]

I think you don't have to work so hard when you're financially independent.

[Sqad]

salla ////but they've only just had a baby.//// for Christ's sake what is the significance of that in a relationship?

[ummmm]

I think that's quite a biggie Sqad...

[Bbbananas]

It's just media gossip mark,,,, of course it may not have a grain of truth in it whatsoever, I know that. But, if it is true, it's a shame.

I spoke to Char last month, she never gave me any indication....

[LoftyLottie]

Yes Salla, we live in a throw-away culture. People are never satisfied - easy come, easy go. Throw away sofas, throw away white goods, change cars every five minutes, throw away partners.

We all have irritating habits, there are things I can't stand about Mr LL and likewise he with me, but I wouldn't throw away what we do have.

They drift from one partner to the next. There are going to be some incredibly lonely old people in the future.

[MarkRae]

So why not ring her up and ask, since she's a friend of yours...?

[Sqad]

ummmm....I did at one time, but if it is a biggie, why are there so many single mothers?

[Bbbananas]

Well, sqad, it should be a big consideration. For the babies themselves.

I am no great advocate of marriage or opponent of divorce - hell knows, I've had 2 husbands, 1 divorce and a split from the last one which will one day end in divorce. I just think people jack it in very easily these days..... maybe I'm just old.

[ummmm]

Various reasons Sqad....but you can't blame it all on women. Some men just up and leave when they realise it's not going to be easy.

[LoftyLottie]

And I agree with Salla about babies. Babies need security and secure parents.

There are some relationships that will never work and I am not saying that people should stay together who really can't get on over a long time period. That would be stupid. It's just so easy come, easy go with so many people these days.

Now I will shut up.

[Bbbananas]

what are you getting at mark?

[redcrx]

i know too many couples who have split after having a child.
A child can change the dynamics of a relationship considerably.

[Bbbananas]

yeah, but the latest little boy wasn't their first child.

I'm not condemning either of them - just think it's another one of those 'ah, what a shame....' stories.

[Sqad]

ummmm....I haven't blamed the women, I am just commenting on salla's comment " but they've only just had a baby." as if it was that relevant in our modern society.

[Bbbananas]

Maybe it has become irrelevant sqad, but that doesn't mean it should have, or is good that, it has become irrelevant.

[LoftyLottie]

I agree Red But people should be aware of it and mature enough to know that a relationship is going to be different after children. I suppose it's all about maturity and acceptance and not always hankering after perfection in people.

[redcrx]

i didnt say those i know were having their first child.

Some have kids even though marriage is already in trouble as well.

I even know couples who split after first, got back together, had another child further down line and yet split again after that one.

[ummmm]

I think it should make a difference though. Having a baby is hard work and both parents should just grin and bare the early (hormonal) days. They give up too quick. They think it's the relationship that is flawed but that's not always the case. It's two people, sleep deprived, exhausted, emotional, taking it out on each other. You need to have a strong relationship to get through it.

[ummmm]

Oh and some good news for a change. My friend gave birth to a baby girl today.