Do all men look?

[Casey]

People always presume that 'all men look at other women' and 'all men have porn' etc. How true is this really? My boyfriend says he never looks at other women and never has done when he's been in a relationship, I couldn't imagine him doing to be honest but I obviously don't know for sure. I am pretty confident he doesn't have porn, or is it something 'all men' have? Surely men and women cannot all be the same can they? It would be good to hear your opnions on this, especially all you guys out there!

[Octavius]

Do all men look?  Maybe, I do.

Do all men have porn?  Maybe, I do

Do I have a girlfriend? Yes and she is well aware of the above.

Dangerous to generalise.  Although I like to think I am unique I do have the occasional doubt that I might not be...

[woofgang]

Can't truly answer about the looking bit although  I wouldn't be worried if he did but I can say categorically that Mr Woofgang does not, and has never since I have known him, (more than 30 years) purchased or read (or viewed on the net or watched on tv) porn. And although he his unique and special in loads of ways, I don't think that he is unique in that respect

[andy hughes]

Do all men look? Yes, it's in-built, a biological function. the point is, I can walk down the street, see a pretty girl, think how nice she is, and as she turns the corner I've already forgotten all about here - it's as transient as that. I am very careful not to let my wife or daughters see me looking at a woman, because although i am aware it is purely vague interest, it can look like somethig more. As a man, I would suggest that this is a normal harmless activity, and you shouldn't worry about it at all. the only time to panic is if he is looking at a woman as though he wonders if he'd be happier with here, than with you, but as a womkan, you will know the signs.

I don't think 'all' men have porn, although 99% of men will look at it if it is available. Again, this is instinctive - men's sexuality is far more visually driven than women's, and men are able to completely separate sexual stimulation for its own sake, from sex within a relationship.

Think of it as hamburger and ice-cream. Both very different, I love both, but the hamburger is fine on its own. Of course if the ice cream is around, I may have some, but I don't need it, and I can manage perfectly well without it, but I'll have it if I'm in the  mood.

Again, watching porn doesn't mean a man 'prefers' it to his partner, it's simply a different avenue of pleasure, with no responsibility, which men find enjoyable. the ony time you should worry, is if your man prefers watching porn to making love to you - and again, you will know the signs.

Don't worry about any of this - it's just the differences in the sexes - makes us all human. Hope this helps.

[ursula62]

Two Buddhist monks are on a journey to another monastery. One monk is a novice, the other has been a monk for many years and is a master.  The monks have sworn a vow of celibacy and in general avoid contact with women.

When they come to a river, bridge is flooded. A woman is standing by the bank clearly upset.  The eldest monk carries the woman across the flooded bridge.

Later that evening, while they are having supper, the young monk said to the old one.. "I can't believe you carried that woman across the river, when we have sworn ourselves to celibacy".   The old monk said... "I put her down on the river bank, but you are still carrying her in your heart".

[jimmer]

i cant compete with these fantastic answers but i will say it would be very unusual for any man or woman in a loving relationship not to occasionally find someone else attractive or not to occasionally get a bit jealous if they notice. a spark of attraction is a beautiful thing even if it is fleeting.

every man i know looks at porn, some more than others. Not all of us have a vault of the stuff stashed away but if its there......

all perfectly natural.

jim

[Shipstabber]

As far as punchlines go - that one was a bit weak! ;)

I don't think all men look, but most do and, like Andy says, it really doesn't mean anything.  I mean, if there's a scantily clad woman walking down the street, or in a magazine/film etc., I'D look - I can hardly expect my husband not to!

[CarolG]

yes they do, but so do us girls, don't we? I always check out other men but it doesn't mean i love my boyfriend any less. What's the big deal anyway, its perfectly natural to appreciate the opposite sex.

[Scarlett]

I think it entirely depends on the character of the men. Look at "Friends" as an example! In the One With the Free Porn, Joey and Chandler are ecstatic. You just know that Joey has tons of porn and is proud of it, and doesn't see it as an issue, whereas Chandler sees it as a bit naughty and is embarassed, but still admits it. However, Ross isn't bothered about it in the slightest. it is just not "him". I would say women are the same in that some are more highly sexed than others. I can think of at least 2 boyfriends I have had who never looked at other women (that I ever noticed) and certainly didn't seem to want porn. Each to their own!

[IndieSinger]

What a perfect answer from andy hughes - it's all there and I agree 100%. Well done that man.

I would also add that men's peripheral vision is smaller than women's. This means that when men look, it's more obvious they are looking. Some women do look, but don't have to turn their heads as much.

[dmsjps]

Do all men look? I don't know. Do all women look? I don't know.

 

Don't you ever look at another man and think he's 'nice' or whatever? You wouldn't actually do anything though, would you? It's the same thing. Whatever goes on in their world goes on in ours. You might not go and buy porn, but if you were with your friends and they put it on the video/DVD ...

 

If your boyfriend says one thing and does another, then perhaps you should talk; if what he's saying is true then either trust him or don't, but if you don't then you should look at alternative options.

 

If you're looking at long-term, then I really would think seriously if you've got doubts even now. You can't get anywhere if you're not open and honest with each other and therefore you don't trust one another.

 

If it's not meant to be, then it just won't be; if it is, you will make it.

[El D]

do all men look - yes

do all women look - yes

 

we don't stop being humans (animals) in a relationship. It is how you conduct yourself that defines yourself, not what you see.

[terrij]

To Ursula62

                i love the story you tell, it really makes you think, sometimes people just know the right things to say at the right time,and you are one of them. I am sure your story would have helped Casey.

[slimfandango]

Evolutionary psychology is REALLY interesting on this one.
Why do women have pert breasts??????????????
Really, ask yourself this question....
The underlying physiology of the breast brings this about, but why should this have occurred???? No other primate has it?
The best hypothesis so far is that it has its origins in bipedalism. You walk about on two feet, unlike all other primates. This has various costs. One is that the pelvis has to be a certain shape, which unfortunately makes childbirth hell. Another is that you aren't close enough to the ground enough to use smell cues about the sexual status of the opposite sex. Mating with the right person, we know for sure, is very important. You can't afford (I'm talking about over human evolutionary history here) to pick an unfit person. So what substituted for this lack of smell cues? Probably visual cues. Healthy women of "good" reproductive age have pert breasts....most probably as a strong advertising signal. I don't advocate going around staring, but if someone where to demonstrate that glancing at women's breasts is an unconscious act of the male brain...I wouldn't argue too strongly.

[IndieSinger]

An excuse! Huzzah!