ChatterBank1 min ago
Is it wrong for a man to share his ex's bed (for sleep only) for 7 months after splitting up with her, and while he's seeing someone else?
40 Answers
My partner slept in his ex's bed for 7 months after splitting up with her, although he'd officially moved out and was living at his mothers. It wasn't continuously, but he stayed there for a week at a time, or as at Christmas (4 months after he'd split with her) he spent 21 nights out of 28 over the xmas/new year period at her house, sharing her bed (no sex apparently). The reason he gives is: it was to see his daughter (now aged 2), and he likes his sleep and doesn't 'do' settee's!
We have had many words over this, as I feel it really wasn't appropriate - he was staying at mine occasionally and we were already having a sexual relationship, and I had told him I really didn't like the fact he stayed there (particularly in her bed!!).
He thinks I'm loopy to mind that he stayed there, and seems to have no comprehension of how hurtful I found this at the time. I cannot explain rationally/calmly how this hurt me, as he flies off the handle, rants and raves and threatens to leave to go back to his mums (we've been living together for 8 months). In fact, he's apparently leaving this evening.
Am I wrong to think his behaviour was wrong? Am I loopy to find it hurtful?
Oh, I forgot to mention that his ex lives 4 miles away (20 miles from his mothers house). And while he was staying at his ex's, I was unable to have any contact with him whatsoever, as he turned his mobile off.
Sorry it's such a long message :(
We have had many words over this, as I feel it really wasn't appropriate - he was staying at mine occasionally and we were already having a sexual relationship, and I had told him I really didn't like the fact he stayed there (particularly in her bed!!).
He thinks I'm loopy to mind that he stayed there, and seems to have no comprehension of how hurtful I found this at the time. I cannot explain rationally/calmly how this hurt me, as he flies off the handle, rants and raves and threatens to leave to go back to his mums (we've been living together for 8 months). In fact, he's apparently leaving this evening.
Am I wrong to think his behaviour was wrong? Am I loopy to find it hurtful?
Oh, I forgot to mention that his ex lives 4 miles away (20 miles from his mothers house). And while he was staying at his ex's, I was unable to have any contact with him whatsoever, as he turned his mobile off.
Sorry it's such a long message :(
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Fire opal. Read your own post.
What would be your reply if it had been posted by someone else?
He is not your partner. Send him back to his mum. He is definitely not mature enough to be let out into the world on his own.
Telling you that he shared his wife's bed is cruel. He rants. He raves. You are not loopy to find it hurtful, but but you will never be able to trust him.He is not worth loving.
Change the locks.
What would be your reply if it had been posted by someone else?
He is not your partner. Send him back to his mum. He is definitely not mature enough to be let out into the world on his own.
Telling you that he shared his wife's bed is cruel. He rants. He raves. You are not loopy to find it hurtful, but but you will never be able to trust him.He is not worth loving.
Change the locks.
Sorry but you really need to call it a day with him. Where is his ex sleeping while he is sleeping in her bed? Especially at Christmas. Is she so grateful that he is back at home or something that she'll 'do' settees? And why can't you contact him.
Is he living with you on a permanent basis or just using you for sex. It would be better to let him go back to his mother and try to sort things out with his wife and daughter. It is very hurtful for you. Tell him to come back when he gets his life in order.
Is he living with you on a permanent basis or just using you for sex. It would be better to let him go back to his mother and try to sort things out with his wife and daughter. It is very hurtful for you. Tell him to come back when he gets his life in order.
-- answer removed --
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