Just Having A Bit of a Weep

[chrissa1]

I've got through the last 2-3 months ok. Finding a smaller place to live, moving out next week and applied for all the help I can get as when my husband died, our business died with him, hence all our income.
A good friend of ours had kindly lent us a fairly substantial sum of money last year, due to be paid back in Feb of this year and it would have been if he hadn't died. An e mail came through this evening asking (nicely) when I could pay them back.
I just don't have the money to do this and have explained my circumstances to them in a reply e mail but it's just made me cry and I don't know what to do.

[DTCwordfan]

chrissa - get a cashflow going of cash in and out going forward and see what you can pay them back (safely and conservatively) on a monthly basis......if you make more than the amount, put it in a separate account for payback at the end when you can fully wipe out the sum owing

[jubieanna]

oh poor you Chrissa :-(

You are still in the grieving process and to have to worry about money as well must be soul destroying for you! will the money from the sale of your house cover it?

[stokemaveric]

keep your chin up chrissa1...sorry to hear about your husband..im sure your friend will be understanding now you have explained your situation....

[chrissa1]

No jubieanna, I'm in negative equity.

[albaqwerty]

ooh chrissa (hugs)

It's a terrible time for you and your family. Please let the friend know your situation and as soon as is possible you could start repaying at a nominal amount.

[DTCwordfan]

dont have to do it tonight but I would over the w/end ahead so you are in a position to respond early next week. Maybe a useful exercise to help you plan anyway......

[cazzz1975]

maybe you could set up a payment plan?? pay a little off each month?

[chrissa1]

That's just it though. Short of winning the lottery, I'll never be able to pay it back.

[marval]

I am sorry you are not in a good place now. I am sure they will understand your situation. Just explain to them how it is. My thoughts are with you.x

[237SJ]

Have you applied for probate? Is there anything to come when and if probate is granted that you could use to help repay (or life insurance etc)? Was the money lent to you or your husband? I believe when someone dies, their debts die with them (not that that is going to help your friendship). Otherwise, you`ll have to come to an arrangement as DT mentions when you`re back on your feet. Good luck

[tinkerbell23]

Aww chrissa...its times like this i wish id had a lotto win. Id wire money to you in a heartbeat!

You will get there , there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and with mr chrissa looking after you im sure things will fall into place! Xx <3

[Cowtipper]

It doesn't sound like they want the money right away, just a time frame. I'm sorry for your loss; its tragic to loose your partner. Assure them the debt is good and that's all anyone could ask.

[classylady60]

Feeling for you with all you are going through, wonder if the CAB can help you go through things, even if they point you in the right direction to someone else. Sending hugs to you and hope you can get sorted at this very difficult time.

CL

[Prudie]

So sorry Chrissa, money worries are the pits. Could you consider taking in a lodger? maybe the good friend would accept a small regular payment?

[cazzz1975]

he must have been a very good friend to lend you such a large amount of money, I would try an look at paying what you can at the very least

[Mamyalynne]

It is very hard to put a positive spin on this Chrissa, my heart goes out to you. All you can realistically do is as you have, explain the situation and tell them that if and when your finances allow you will start to repay what you can.
Hard to say, but try the hardest you can not to let it envelop you.

Mamya ♥

[jubieanna]

Good advice from Classy Lady. ask the CAB for advice or the bank. sending you loads of (((((hugs))))) wish I could be more help Chrissa xx

[boxtops]

Chrissa, I'm so sorry - you have found yourself in such a difficult place, and you have managed so well through all the traumas. I know you have been everywhere about your financial situation. Did this friend not realise, perhaps, how difficult things are for you at the moment? Don't despair yet, see how they respond to your reply email. ♥

[tamborine]

Any chance you can offer friend the business that was lost when your OH passed ?

[ttfn]

Hello Chrissa. I expect this has caused you a bit of a shock, to say the least. Knowing the debt was outstanding is one thing but seeing a communication in black and white is altogether a different feeling. I know this is easier for me to say than for you to do, but please don't panic over this email. The loss of your husband and sorting out all his affairs, apart from having to find somewhere else to live, has been an enormous struggle for you. You have done so well to get this far. I hope that after a night's rest (yes, you will get some) you will feel a little more able to look to the future. This would happen at a long weekend and you probably feel quite helpless, but there will be people to help you deal with this. I do wish you well, Chrissa xxx