The most indescribable torment ever experienced....

[bobjugs12]

Evening all.
I just wanted to share some things with everyone.
1) NoM will not let me read Pistonheads in peace. She insists that I do a miniblog about my scrotum
2) My nuts are killing me
3) Childbirth is easy compared to this!!!

As many of you already know, I had a vasectomy reversal a couple of weeks ago. This involved a surgeon using a Stanley knife to open my *** up, leaving me with a wound each side about 6' in length. Since the op I have been forced to eat a hundred pills a day, wear a uber-fashionable jockstrap, and walk like John Wayne. My nuts are currently the size of a small family car and weigh more than 3.5ton.
Since the op, my sack has gone from orange, to red, to brown, to blue, to black. It's currently heading back towards a dark crimson colour.
I also managed to catch severe (and life-threatening) Sepsis in my wounds, and I actually died two days ago.
However, the worst thing about this is the itching. I want to cry. The stitches are making my legs itch; the scars itch; my hairy bits itch; my John-Thomas itches. In fact the whole frigging world itches.

So there is my miniblog. NoM doesn't quite realise how much she owes me for suffering this trauma. I will use it in every argument we ever have
eg NoM "You spent £1000 on beer and fast cars over the weekend. That was irresponsible!" Me "Yeah. Well I had my nuts cut open for you!"

So, my dear ABers, I will conclude this pointless rant by saying that NoM has cold feet and she snores

Night all

[Mamyalynne]

Will get my trolley - right there with you Bob ♥

[NoMercy]

He's so dead...

[Mamyalynne]

Heartless woman.

[Lie-in King]

Mine have just gone into hibernation reading this...

[craft1948]

Bloody southern jessie...................

[NoMercy]

Two days ago you were eating cake ya gimp.

[starone]

But it will all be worth it in the long run (hope it works)

[micmak]

Hope it's all worth it in the end.

[karenmac60]

Tsk really! Look NoM - you've already got a baby! ;) xxx

[RATTER15]

You have my deepest sympathy Bob, women can be heartless beasts some times!!

Hi NoM, how are you?

good luck on the outcome!! :))

[Ann]

Hehe Wimp! Comparable to man flu ;)

[Zhukov]

big southern nancy boy

[HowardKennitby]

You must have thought the benefits and incentives worth it!

[sherrardk]

Twins by c section - two off them at it, bloke surgeon had huge hands, had to stop them because I could feel it all (like someone doing the washing up inside your stomach) - man up (ok, you feel rubbish, try feeling rubbish and breast feeding and not sleeping).

Ps - good luck, hope it all goes well for you both, x

[ttfn]

Yer got time off work!

NoM - my condolences :)

[starone]

Sometimes I wonder why people want children. They are a terrible worry to bring up aren't they. Mind you, I wouldn't be without my two.

[paddywak]

I, like any man, sympathise with you bobjugs just thinking about your op gives me the shivers. I know what you mean about the cold feet and snores as well Trish denies it but some night she's like she's sawing logs

[paddywak]

Forgot to add that I hope it turns out OK for you and NoM

[ttfn]

Star - I think Bob could be without his 'two' right now ;)

[karenmac60]

For a minute there Paddy, I thought you meant you'd slept with Nom ;)