Etiquette

[CailinDeas]

I was always taught that it is rude to give a title to one's self e.g. "This is Dr Joe Bloggs speaking". Am I wrong? Had an argument with a friend on this subject to-day.

[boxtops]

Magsmay, yes, it's a respectful courtesy, but I suspect it's quite old-fashioned these days. A lot of people don't use their Mrs etc handles in daily life, I know I don't.

Indeed, in my professional context, I would wish to do the same...

Talking of which, the etiquette of putting qualification letters after your name isn't always followed - I have a colleague who puts X, MSc, BSc - I always understood that if you had a Masters degree, that takes precedence over the BSc (as a lesser qualification) so you don't need to mention the latter.

[shoota]

I once met a man who introduced himself as Mister John Doe Esquire and I immediately pigeonholed him as a tw@.
I was subsequently proved right.

[naomi24]

//do many people actually introduce people socially as mr /mrs/miss? -is it 'class' or 'age' related?//

It depends on the situation. If it's formal, then titles are appropriate. Over-familiarity is often construed as the height of bad manners.

[ludwig]

I depends on the circumstances.

If it makes sense to include the extra information of your title, then it's actually rude not to. For example if a Professor/Doctor is phoning an academic institution/Hospital on a work related matter, he should probably introduce himself as Professor/Doctor Joe Bloggs, so they know who they're dealing with.

However, if they're just introducing themselves to another guest at a party they should just say 'Hi, I'm Joe bloggs'.

[magsmay]

we had a total culture shock when we lived in Canada - its either first/last names or 'ma am' or Sir -much nicer especially for a female as it does not put you into a 'category ( married or single) -did not hear Mrs or Mrs all the time we were there

[FredPuli43]

Try living in Cambridge. I went into a dry cleaners and the woman filling out the ticket got to the name and asked "Doctor ..what name ?" If you have a certain age and wear scruffy jackets, apparently you are presumed to have a doctorate, because everybody else like that in Cambridge has !

[dotty.]

I've given up asking people in 'important' places to NOT put that I am Mrs, Miss or Ms, I have a name, use it, grrrrrr

[woofgang]

I think this dates from the time when one's social circle was quite small and one literally did not know anyone to whom one hadn't been introduced formally. Even doctors, business contacts and so on would be in the network. (goodness that "one" business is hard for one to keep up...not sure how Charlie does it)

You didn't have to tell anyone what your correct title was because you would have been introduced by it, maybe left or exchanged cards with it on. Even if you travelled outside your usual circle, you would go with letters of introduction and likely friends and sponsors would have written ahead. In those circumstances, repeating a title yourself would amount to boasting, the provenance of the parvenu.
Nowadays things are very different and it seems to me to be plain commonsense and good manners to indicate to people who you are and how you would like to be addressed.
I have to say that as I get older I can see benefits to there being "ways to do things" socially In difficult circumstances, it must be a help not to have to worry about how this or that person will feel/what they will think if you do this or that...you just do it the "way it is done."....not of course that i would wish to go back to a rigid social structure as I come from somewhere near the bottom!

[dave50]

Can't stand it when sales people call me by my first name without first asking my permission.

[tenrec]

Can't stand being called Madam.