Are School Trips Mandatory?

[Swiper]

Sorry didn't know what catagory to put this in.
My 9 year old daughters school residential trip is coming up where they go and stay in a youth hostel for a week etc. I don't really feel comfortable with her going and she REALLY doesn't want to go. Shes a nervous child and has been getting very upset about it.The cost of the trip is £130 and there is NO WAY that I am forking out that amount of money for something she doesn't want to do.
They have sent her home with yet another letter about the trip with all the important bits high-lighted and underlined! They surely can't make her go can they? Are school trips mandatory? I need to know before I go talk to her school tomorrow.
Any help appreciated.

[woofgang]

No they are not mandatory and she doesn't have to go if she doesn't want to.

[naomi24]

No - but why on earth didn't you contact the school right away instead of worrying?

[Baldric]

^^^^ Wot woof said! ^^^^

[aelmpvw]

i'll know we're in trouble if the day arrives when we are forced to pay £130 for a holiday we don't want

[sherrardk]

My 9 year old son is off on a residential in a week's time. He has only just decided he wants to go and is looking forward to it (he had been coming down at night in tears he was so worried about it). I think 9 is too young but if mine goes (and stays) it will do wonders for his confidence.

[VHG]

I think YOUR worry about this holiday is being passed down to her.

Once she has got on the coach and set off she will be fine.

I remember when my daughter was 9 and went off on her first residential trip.

One nervous mother came with her child but after the child got on the coach the mother stood on the pavement crying her eyes out (even before the coach set off).

The child got so upset she got of the coach and did not go on the trip. I have always felt how awful that was of the mother.

If her mother had done the right thing and driven off straight away the child would have been fine once the coach set off and they were a couple of miles away. The child missed such a great week.

As parents we need to let our children go a bit at a time and not wrap them in cotton wool.

If she does not go on this trip she will use the same excuse over and over again.

Try to encourage her to go.

[woofgang]

VHG you have nothing whatever to base that on....You don't know what Swiper has already said to her daughter.

[magsmay]

Try and encourage her to go. My son was very similar at that age and we really had to be cruel to be kind getting him to even go on day trips without us -once on the bus he was fine its just the parting that seemed to upset him. I suggest going to the school and explaining your daughters anxiety and asking if things can be put in place so if she really does have a panic once there, then you would be allowed to collect her. I bet that call will never come ;-)

[VHG]

>>>VHG you have nothing whatever to base that on

She herself says in her question

>>>I don't really feel comfortable with her going

[Nibble]

The school trip is not compulsory for any child, but I feel that you should do your best to persuade her, as this "may" count against her in the field of playground politics, however, as you've stated that she doesn't want to go, then I genuinely feel that for her well-being it's probably better for her to wait until next years trip. Hopefully, by next year she'll feel more comfortable in her ability to spend sometime away from you, but with contact as she feels is neccessary.

[Old_Geezer]

Even if not mandatory I think she would benefit greatly if persuaded to go and try something outside of her "comfort zone". It's how we mature gradually. My suggestion is to try to sound enthusiastic about how good and fun it'd turn out to be. Assuming the cost isn't beyond you of course. And there is also the stigma among her peers as the one who wouldn't go, which isn't something desirable.

[gness]

Swiper, I have been on many school trips. Often the nervous, shy child settled very well and really enjoyed it. Sometimes not though. I have spent evenings cuddling a crying child who has to be taken home eventually.
You know your daughter better than any of us. If you feel she won't benefit from and enjoy the trip you make the decision. She is only nine....plenty of time for her to gain confidence and enjoy school trips.

[rockyracoon]

I'm in agreement with Magsmay, my daughter who was in year 6 really didn't want to go on the school trip, cried some etc. I dealt out a bit if tough love, and I'm glad I did, she loved it, it's separation anxiety which I think most kids go through at one stage or another, she camps about 2-3 times a year with the scouts and I have the same thing every time, tears before bed and 'what if I don't like it', she always has a ball.

But to answer your question, no it's not compulsory, though I imagine the school will insist she attends for those days and she'll be put in a class (probably younger than her) and given work to do.

[sherrardk]

I have said to my son all along that if he didn't want to go we wouldn't make him go but that he would have a brill time when he got there (doesn't help that the activities will probably include walking up some hills which he is genuinely scarred off). It is only in the last week that he has been excited about going. The school are aware of all off this and have spoken to him about it, etc. As I know there is a fair chance that I will cry I have explained to him that his dad will take him to the bus as I don't want to show him up (he thinks this is funny and is ok with it).

[naomi24]

I‘m sure some of you have the best intentions, but I actually think it’s a bit of a cheek for strangers to advise Swiper to send her child on a trip she doesn't want to go on. She doesn’t want her to go, the child doesn’t want to go, and she isn’t asking for advice on whether she should send her or not. She only wanted to know if school trips are mandatory - and that's been answered.

[Swiper]

Just to say, thank you for all of your answers and help. Also, I said nothing to my daughter about not wanting her to go, just the opposite in fact, I keep asking her if she wants to go but she really doesn't. I am apprehensive about her going but I would also like the break. I know she's not the only child not going and i don't want to force her if she's not ready.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

I was horriblt bullied throughout my school life and I went on my first weekend away aged 7. My mum must have been super flush that weekend because I had more spending money than anyone else for the only time ever so people were nice to me.
My first week away was when I was 10. I remember getting a very hard time of it, but when I think back, most of my memories of that time are exciting and fun and worth remembering.

[DaisyNonna]

Remember being sent for a week to a Baptist Bible Camp. It was dire. Colouring in Bible tracts and then framing them with passe partout. Must have been about 9. Ghastly experience.
If your daughter does not want to go she does not have to do so. £130 is a lump out of any one's budget. What are the important bits? Anything she would enjoy? Will the children be able to make or receive phone calls? Is it far away? Are her friends going? Lots of things to discuss. The final decision has to be hers. You are apprehensive, try to play that down. Be positive about the experience.
Not mandatory.

[losgigs]

Swiper - there has been lots of good advice already given here, but I wondered how far ahead the trip is and also has your daughter had sleep-overs before where she has been away from you? As you say she is a nervous child, maybe she is just not ready for a week away from you just yet. Many schools do a residential trip in year 6, so the children are 10 or 11. Not all would be ready for that at 9.

[modeller]

As an ex-teacher I can tell you ,teachers are also pressurised into organising trips, one a term was considered desirable.
Some parents complain but like Swiper feel they have to comply.