Should Physically Disabled People Be Allowed To Adopt Children?

[beso]

Bringing up children in a "normal" family unit has been a hot topic of discussion lately.

Some have demonstrated an aversion to children being brought up in same sex parented families because they claim that it isn't a "normal" family unit. They have also objected to same sex parents being portrayed in children's books.

Most people are able bodied therefore that is the "norm". Indeed there would more people in same sex relationships than there are people where one of the partners is disabled.

Children brought up where one of the parents is physically disabled are obviously not experiencing a "normal" family life. On the terms some posters have backed these people should not be allowed to have children and certainly not permitted to adopt.

I am most interested in hearing from those who object to same sex couples having children because it isn't "normal". Do they also object to portraying disabled people in children's books on the grounds that it is not normal?

[bednobs]

well in our household, a lot of the stuff is done by my husband who is not disabled (unless you count being grumpy as a disability) - he carriers her upstairs and downstairs, picks her up from the floor and puts her down on the floor.
I have been lucky enough to have help from remap for some adaptations to help me care for her

[woofgang]

bednobs I am nor in any way saying that you shouldn't have children but I do think that people with disabilities should get the assistance that they need, both equipment and care, so that their children can have the same kind of childhood that the children of able bodies parents have

[EcclesCake]

Disability is a broad spectrum and blindly cutting swathes through 'disability' and declaring that they will become a burden to their children is short-sighted in the extreme.

Both my parents were disabled, their disabilities didn't hinder me in the slightest.............as for their mean-spirited sniping post divorce, don't get me started!

[naomi24]

Bednobs, we’re talking about adoption – and frankly, I can’t see why my words should sadden – or anger - you any more than those who agree with me either directly - or by extension.

EcclesCake, let’s not put words into anyone’s mouth here. No one has ‘declared’ that disabled parents who adopt children will be a burden on those children – but depending upon the nature and severity of the disability, the possibility must be a consideration. That is not short-sighted. It’s common sense.

[bednobs]

whic is why i said answers like the one from naomi

[naomi24]

Bednobs, oh, I see. You mean answers similar to mine. OK, so am I to assume that if you were in a position to place children in care with adoptive parents, you would choose to place them with people who are physically incapable of caring for themselves – or the children?

[boxtops]

I think it's relative, naomi - your reply sounds quite agressive, even if you didn't mean it to be so. If one adoptive parent is disabled (or blind, or deaf) but the other isn't, but the disabled parent can give love, moral guidance, and teach the child be a decent human being, I don't see anything wrong in placing a child with a couple like that.

[woofgang]

neither do I boxy.

[Eve]

Wow! So, as I'm physically disabled that means I'd never be able to give a child a normal life! Maybe they should make us incapable of breeding just to make sure huh?

I know you are taking about adoption but the insinuations still cut deep.

[naomi24]

Boxy, but that isn't the question.

[Sharingan]

I think as long as the child would not become it's parent's full time carer, disability should not be an obstruction to adoption. There's nothing to stop a disabled person being a wonderful parent, it's not all about physical ability.

[naomi24]

Eve, // So, as I'm physically disabled that means I'd never be able to give a child a normal life! //

That would depend upon the extent of your physical disability.

[boxtops]

No, it's not, naomi, but it's a branch off from it, since your OP talks about "not normal" family life for people with disabled parents.

The experience I've had of knowing a child brought up by same sex parents (a boy brought up by women) seem to me to have worked well, he seems a well-balanced young man now.

[jim360]

I don't think it's controversial to say that, if two parents cannot look after themselves, then they wouldn't really be able to look after anyone else either. Equally many disabled people are perfectly capable of bringing up children -- either because only one parent is disabled, or because the disability won't affect their ability to care.

[Eve]

Exactly, it's the tarring us with the same brush which grates on me, just because someone is "disabled" means they should not be able to adopt when the terms covers a huge extent of possibilities.

I would also never think of going for anything like adoption unless I felt able to care for a child properly. Us disabled people do have some common sense of our own and I hardly think someone who would be actually physically incapable of caring for a child properly would get through social services, being OK'd to adopt is not an easy thing.

There is also the partner aspect which has been discussed by others on here.

[pixie373]

How many children do have a "normal life"? Nobody has perfect parents, or needs them. Whether physical, mental, emotional or intellectual. We all have our limits. That is why adults have resilience, empathy, character and different strengths/weaknesses. There is no need for perfection.

[naomi24]

Boxy, it's not my question. I've said nothing about 'not normal' - and what does same sex parents have to do with this?

Eve, no it isn't tarring everyone with the same brush. I'm saying that if the nature of the disability is such that the potential adoptive parent cannot care for themselves, then very clearly that are incapable of caring for a child.

[Maydup]

It would be nice to live in a society and an environment which was fully accessible to all. Where disabled people didn't have to ask for assistance or for a facility either at work or at home, where instead, everywhere was perfectly accessible.

I know, I know, its not practical in every sense, but we can but hope. Then we wouldn't even think about having this conversation.

[woofgang]

naomi, you are talking about one parent, but what about a situation where there are two parents and they can cope between them?